Hi Vineeto,
It is not a lack of willingness to put effort in, that I know, because I am willing to put endless effort into the “steeple-chasing and then armchair-philosophising”, so then it is a lack of willingness for action itself. Right now I am putting in a lot of effort and yet not taking action.
Action is what brings ‘me’ towards that which is glimpsed in those experiences - “it would be relief unimaginable for this flesh and blood body to live where all is genuine and for ‘me’ to no longer live ‘my’ life”. It’s the bridge between ‘me’ as ‘I’ am now and the possibility of ‘my’ extinction.
So the trick is that ‘I’ can prevent ‘my’ eventual extinction by never taking action, the action being what you described below :
If ‘I’ am genuinely diminished on a continuous basis whilst at the same time knowing full well what lies at the end then it becomes a slide towards ‘my’ demise, the action in question would assure it happens.