Aha well I can tell you what it is now Vineeto, with a high degree of confidence.
It is that enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive is not my number 1 priority, but there is more… The reason it is not my number 1 priority is because I would rather pay into the piggy bank of being a group member, a someone in relation to others.
The “in relation to others” being especially important as ‘I’ wish to claim a favourable place.
And those 2 goals are mutually exclusive, enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive and ‘earning my place’ within the group.
As such I have never put everything on a “it doesn’t ultimately matter” basis, one of the key things Richard did when first stepping onto the wide and wondrous path.
So yes this does already explain the different results for ‘Kuba’ and ‘Richard’.