It has become clear to me why stepping out from control is what happens prior to self-immolation, a penultimate step. I have been experiencing glimpses of what eventuates when ‘I’ disappear and I can see that when all is done ‘I’ will play no role whatsoever anymore, of course as ‘I’ will no longer exist.
It’s quite odd because when those glimpses happen I see that in a way everything is already like that, as in life is actually happening of it’s own accord already, it is just that there is a persistent illusion in place which is ‘me’, this illusion does have the capacity to direct this flesh and blood body in various ways.
But the point is that the closest that ‘I’ can get to “what life will be like” when ‘I’ am gone is to step out from control, ‘I’ can allow the universe to live this life whilst ‘I’ am still in existence, ‘I’ can habituate to the situation where ‘I’ no longer play any role.
I wrote a while back that I would say “I am going to let the universe do it” whenever things would get somewhat hectic, confusing, stressful etc and this has been a great overall tactic, but I see now that actually this is the optimum way for ‘me’ to exist all-round, until ‘I’ dissappear.
There is just no upside to ‘my’ involvement with things, ‘I’ don’t add anything beneficial at all, I can see this very clearly now - so ‘I’ can “let the universe do it” each moment again and in all situations, as an ongoing modus operandi.
It took a while to be able to say this though, there was like this iron grip which ‘I’ had around “the way things should happen”, it was ‘my’ life to be lived in the way that ‘I’ deemed correct. I could initially release the controls in certain situations but others not so much, too much seemed to be at stake.
It seems what happened eventually is that as ‘I’ continued to lead to further problems and failures it eventually clicked that ‘I’ only make things worse and that it is just a painful burden to try to live ‘my’ life, ‘I’ don’t do a very good job of it at all 
And at the same time I noticed when looking back at all the various things which happen every day, that ‘I’ am not required for them, that somehow the universe assures that the correct thing happens at the right time and this happens automatically. It’s like ‘Vineeto’ said in the out from control DVD, that looking at the “perfect set up” of ‘her’ life at the time ‘she’ saw that it was millions of little switches which was the brain responding to opportunity, and that ‘she’ was not needed for any of this - this perfectly encapsulates what I am trying to say here. I see that this is actually the manner in which life has been playing out all along, and ‘I’ have been screaming and crying and stressing and moaning along side all this as Hunterad wrote recently - a “weird parallel process”.