Hi Vineeto,
Thank you as always for your assistance, those quotes you included they make alot of sense experientially, indeed it is the territory I am in. A big hurdle has been removed recently, the way is clear now.
In the past the possibility of proceeding towards ‘my’ extinction was shrouded in fear, a wall of fear is a good term for this. It is not like that anymore, it is very wonderful. It is like the universe provides assistance exactly matching ‘my’ daring.
I remember you wrote a while ago to consider how ‘my’ post mortem audience would be affected by ‘my’ last antics, because indeed they were very dramatic. Well it is not dramatic anymore, it is wonderful. But it is not wonderful all the time, at times ‘I’ tangle ‘myself’ up a little and forget that ‘my’ extinction is actually what ‘I’ desire, then ‘I’ will be surviving again until the obviousness of it all is seen again, and then it is very wonderful and very meaningful again.
I also remember you wrote (paraphrasing) that there is no suffering in self-immolation, that it is the most wonderful thing that can happen to ‘me’. This is the flavour I am getting, it is not that ‘I’ have to allow it, it is that ‘I’ get to grant this wonderful gift, and that everybody wins, even ‘I’ win.
It’s very cool that I can see now that there is actually no-one stopping me other than myself, in that only ‘I’ can give the full permission and allow it to happen, that is in part what makes it so wonderful, nothing will happen against ‘my’ will, it will be a gift freely given by ‘me’, with ‘my’ full concurrence.
Also just to add, when I say wonderful I am not sure if it quite describes what is going on - it is like the summation of a life-time of searching, it is approaching towards the actualisation of ‘my’ deepest desire, it’s that kind of wonderful…