Thank you for this Claudiu and I’m looking forward to reading more about the trip. Come to think of it I could have met you there since I’m only in England, perhaps next time 
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I will consider further what you wrote as nothing stood out immediately/obviously.
There is certainly inaction in terms of proceeding towards self immolation currently, which is linked to having tried all the doors ‘I’ could find so far. But as you say perhaps ‘I’ am looking for a door which leads to somewhere where ‘I’ continue existing in some obscure manner, perhaps it is because ‘I’ am not looking for the door which leads to ‘my’ extinction.
Which is quite funny to think of it that way, maybe that door isn’t so hard to find after all, it’s more that ‘I’ am not looking for the door marked “extinction”, just the doors that allow ‘me’ to continue ‘being’ a little longer.