So it seems what I have been circling here is that even ‘my’ death is not a serious business. I can see that I was able to enjoy and appreciate and to remove seriousness from most aspects of my life but it is as if ‘I’ reserved a special place for it where it concerned arriving at ‘my’ destiny. This 1 thing seemed worthy enough to be serious about, that it was ‘worthy enough’ to forego enjoyment and appreciation for this 1 goal.
But I see now that there was never a need to get serious at all, which means the way forward is enjoyment and appreciation anyways.