This was such great advice! It did not occur to me that I could do this, instead I was trying to sort of “tough it out”, but where is the fun, adventure and thrill in that. No wonder it became some kind of a serious, almost moralistic thing. I was just waiting for it to end as opposed to enjoying and appreciating the thrilling ride.
So even those instinctual passionate reactions which come as a result of ‘my’ approaching demise can be turned into enjoyment and appreciation. Perhaps there was some kind of a feeling/belief that altruistic self-immolation must be a serious affair, but something which you wrote Vineeto came to mind yesterday, to paraphrase you wrote that the last step can be taken with a “hop and a skip”. This is possible only when all of ‘me’ is on board, and how else for ‘me’ to get on board than to welcome ‘my’ destiny, it is the powerful affective energy of felicity and innocuity which can allow something so ‘big’ to disappear forever with a “hop and a skip”.
How amazing that with the seriousness fading the world around has now changed also! I see now that indeed ‘I’ cannot control the ways and means of self-immolation, that would be a contradiction in terms, ‘I’ only enjoy and appreciate the thrilling ride and remain out from control.