Ok so I think it’s about time to write some kind of an update, even though not much has been going on recently.
Richard: ‘I’ do not make it happen, because ‘I’ cannot make it happen. What is more … ‘I’ am not required to make it happen. An actual freedom happens of itself only when one is fully ready, and not before. (…) The in-built tendency of the universe to achieve the optimum knows best as to when the time is right.
It seems this is exactly the case recently, everything/anything that ‘I’ could do has been done, however there is 1 exception in that ‘my’ very being is not in full agreement yet. Those passions are still burning away and it is different than in the past because there is not any specific triggers or any aspects of ‘my’ social identity that can be chipped away at here.
‘I’ am screaming around for no apparent reason, although even those ‘screams’ are no longer as overwhelming as in the past, they are getting progressively quieter. There are times when those screams will temporarily wear themselves out and then I find myself here where this moment is happening, not a PCE but still very close to the actual world. When this happens it is so clear that ‘I’ am the thing spoiling/getting in the way of perfection, perfection is all around but with ‘me’ ‘screaming’ constantly it cannot be seen or appreciated.
The other day as I was driving I had a glimpse of what it means to be innocence personified, that without ‘me’ there is an immaculate purity permeating everything and it is so clean, with not even a trace of ‘dirt’, to be that purity is to be innocence personified. Shortly after this happened I could see ‘my’ place from a different vantage point, it gave me a lot of confidence that it is safe for ‘me’ to die.
Usually ‘I’ am seen as the only thing in existence and so to contemplate ‘my’ death is to contemplate the end of everything, very scary business! But since then I have seen ‘myself’ differently, this diagram that I made a while back actually depicts it quite well :
In that there is the “field” of apperceptive awareness which ultimately precedes ‘me’, this apperceptive awareness allows the seeing of ‘me’ in ‘my’ proper place, which is not that important at all! Essentially this means that there is this entire world going on outside of ‘my’ self centred bubble.
I could see from that vantage point that it is very possible for ‘me’ to disappear, it is just in a direction which ‘I’ don’t normally see or know that it exists, the apperceptive seeing showed that this direction is there to be taken and that it exists just outside of ‘me’.
So yes by all means everything seems in place but as above ‘my’ being is still trying to ‘survive’ or perhaps it’s slowly dying 
, those passions are still burning away to some degree which means that ‘I’ am not in full agreement, yet.