OK so update on how things have been going as ‘I’ am still here 
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The best way I can describe where I find myself lately is what Srinath wrote here :
I went shopping with a friend later that morning. I was much minimised and in a magical world, but could clearly feel my presence there. I was clearly blocking intimacy with my friend and everyone else just by being there, I tried to get rid of ‘me’ somehow but could not do it. It seemed that something would happen and I had to now lie in wait and stay focussed on the ending in rapt attention. How that ‘last piece of pizza’ would go I didn’t know. I thought of that scene in the film Hellboy where the creature with the wings heals Hellboy and tells his girlfriend ‘I have done what I can… now give him a reason to live’
and
It seemed like I was hanging on by a very thin thread that stayed firmly in place. At that point I saw my girlfriend lying on the couch and once again I could see that what was separating us was ‘me’. I went out to the balcony and looked down and saw some people walking. I could see that even though everything was nearly perfect that last little bit of ‘me’ was there separating myself from everyone else on this planet and spoiling perfection. The spoonful that weighed a tonne. ‘I’ would roar back into full existence creating havoc for this body and every body, given half a chance
There really isn’t anything else ‘I’ can do now, there aren’t even any more problems to solve even if ‘I’ was to go looking for them. What a bummer, ‘I’ ran out of things to do!
Experientially it is almost like it does not reflect my experience properly to use the scare quotes anymore? Of course ‘I’ am still a ‘self’ but now it would be precise to say that ‘I’ am ‘my’ passions and ‘my’ passions are ‘me’, it seems that is virtually all that is left of ‘me’, whereas before ‘I’ was a psychological operation on top of / arising out of those passions.
The main way that ‘I’ can tell that ‘I’ am still here is those very passions burning away, without them ‘I’ would no longer exist. Exactly as Srinath wrote - “It seemed like I was hanging on by a very thin thread that stayed firmly in place…The spoonful that weighed a tonne. ‘I’ would roar back into full existence creating havoc for this body and every body, given half a chance”.
So by all means this seems to be great news, because now it is only self-immolation that is left, the only other thing that can be done, there is literally nothing else I can do. There have been many times in the past week or so that it seemed like it could happen at any moment, like everything that I could do has been done and everything that could be in place to ensure it happens, has also been done.
So ‘I’ have been doing nothing, even “allowing it” does not seem to properly reflect what is going on because that is still something that ‘I’ would be doing. Basically it has been happening and ‘I’ have been doing nothing, being insubstantial ‘I’ cannot do anything anyways.
I think this is as much as I can write which accurately describes what has been going on. It seems something needs to trigger the altruism at this point?