Thank you for your response Vineeto, I am still to digest it properly but I just wanted to write the below before it slips my mind :
I had an interesting experience yesterday relating to this, that yes the drama is very real and yet it is a drama after-all… That suffering is very real and yet it is not actual. It made me think back to what Richard wrote in his journal :
Are fear, terror, horror and dread only real? Is it only an act I have to play out in order to be here now?
and
In the place where I am genuine, no mental or emotional scars are carried. Stress, so vividly experienced in reality, has no actuality here.
So although this drama can indeed reach some staggering intensity ultimately it is just a drama (this is what ‘my’ existence amounts to), it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Of course ‘I’ am prepared to let this thing play out to whatever intensity it needs to and yet from the other side it will have been “an emotional play in a fertile imagination”.
And I could see it from the “other side” to a degree, that no matter the intensity of the drama - “in the place where I am genuine, no mental or emotional scars are carried”.
So what I take away from this is that it is good to put a green light on this thing and let it play out, it is safe.