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Yes it has and in fact I was looking at it exactly in this way before you posted. It is as if there is a force-field between ‘me’ and the actual world, this force-field is very real and ‘I’ am somewhat standing right up to it. So far every time ‘I’ have pushed into it there was not enough force to go all the way through and instead ‘I’ was as if bounced back to the same position, of being right up to it.
So after these failed attempts it seems ‘I’ then try to make that force-field somehow weaker, like ‘I’ could get a little closer and then it would take a bit less of a push, then ‘I’ could do it with what ‘I’ have got at hand. But this would rest on the assumption that this force-field can be weakened, but when I consider that this is talking about ‘my’ extinction then it’s clear that it cannot. Rather it is the passionate energy that has to be garnered even more.
OK so what I take from this for sure is to be on the look out for the various ways in which ‘I’ fritter away this passionate energy. Those “side-missions” are very enticing because they appear to me that they are doing something productive, but they cannot assist in producing this enormous passionate energy, that I can see.