So I will write a little more about how I came to see what I described in my previous 2 posts. I have been looking at what is the next objection, what is still taking away from it being a 100% commitment. I can see that ‘I’ will not agree to disappear unless there is utter confidence that this is the correct course of action. It’s fascinating that ‘I’ have peeled away all these layers and there is so little left now, and still there is that 1% that is not sure. So it seems the only way to proceed is to patiently dismantle the next bit.
Stepping out from control was the decision to allow pure intent to life ‘my’ life, it was about the ‘do-er’ going into abeyance, ‘I’ opened the door to ‘my’ cage and so the perfection and purity would work away on ‘me’ as the ‘beer’. But there is more, because proceeding towards self-extinction means that there will not be anything of ‘me’ left, only the perfection and purity exists in the actual world.
I remember what got me back onto the wide and wondrous path after a 5 year break was the experience of the breath breathing itself… I took some LSD and as I was looking out the window and enjoying the “trip” for what it was, it happened. Such a little thing and it only lasted a second or so, but in that second there was no ‘being’ at all, the breath was happening and yet ‘no-one’ was doing it, it was happening of it’s own accord and the entire universe was like that. It was an experience of utter release.
So this is the difference between the ‘do-er’ going into abeyance and ‘being’ in it’s entirety getting out of the way.
This is exactly the flavour of ‘my’ current deliberations, something to the effect of - is the perfection and purity alone going to do a sufficient job of living this life? As in is it safe for ‘me’ not only to step out from control but to completely exit the scene, where ‘I’ would play no part at all. Where just like the breath breathed itself, life would live itself.
Geoffrey wrote about “rising to the challenge of being here as the universes experience of itself” prior to ‘his’ self-immolation, this is exactly the direction that ‘I’ am looking at. And the question that ‘I’ want to answer experientially for ‘myself’ is - Is it safe, sensible and beneficial for all concerned to have ‘me’ disappear completely and to have only the perfection and purity left. Will the perfection and purity “know what it is doing” when left completely to it’s own devices.
And this is 1 thing to allow as an idea but to experientially allow this as far as humanly possible in my daily life is a different thing. As in can I turn up to work, deal with various things - essentially to continue existing “in the marketplace” and for ‘me’ to have no involvement in any of these matters at all. That whatever remnant shreds of involvement that ‘I’ have would no longer play any part at all - rising to the challenge of being here as the universes experience of itself.