Continuing with this one here. Yesterday I was contemplating this very thing of authority, of the confidence of knowing. I always wanted to live like so, in total confidence, it is possible as it is clear that this is the case in a PCE. Yet whenever I write here there is (no matter how slight) this sense of doubt, especially as @Vineeto is involved on the forum and so there is the actual knowing that ‘my’ understanding can be readily contrasted against.
And what I realised is that ‘I’ will never match up to that actual knowing, it is out of ‘my’ reach. It made sense in the end because ‘I’ am an identity and not a fact, therefore ‘my’ best wisdom can only be a virtual wisdom. This goal of living in total certainty (as in a complete absence of doubt) is only possible for this flesh and blood body. This body is a fact and so it is not precluded from actual knowing, however ‘I’ am.
This was nice to acknowledge, that the very nature of what ‘I’ am as an identity is to be forever precluded from actual wisdom, ‘I’ simply cannot reach that destination of total certainty as total certainty is sourced in fact, ‘I’ am a belief. Any understanding of the world that ‘I’ have made is necessarily translated in ‘my’ language.
So even though I realised that ‘I’ can never arrive at ‘my’ goal it was actually very beneficial to see, it was like another chunk of the burden dropped. Because it is not ‘my’ fault that ‘I’ come up short time and time again, it is simply not in ‘my’ capacity to arrive at actual wisdom.
Yet this actual wisdom is possible, total certainty is possible, this goal that ‘I’ have is possible for this flesh and blood body to live as an actuality.