The PCE will show that the ‘persona’ that was just a second prior (now in abeyance) has no actual existence at all and what you actually are (and have been all along) will become apparent, yet once ‘you’ are back in the picture (and bearing in mind that actualism is an experiential method) it is beneficial to bear in mind that ‘I’ the persona can never be what was glanced in the PCE, ‘I’ am forever separated from the actual world.
Writing this last night to @roy I had a bit of a “oh shit” moment 
It clicked that no matter how close ‘I’ get there is an absolutely unbridgeable distance between ‘me’ and actuality, one that can only be eliminated by ‘my’ death. This led to something like a panic attack, and yet ‘I’ could not put the breaks on! I went to bed eventually whilst this thing was playing out and it was fascinating that it was a breeze to get through, without halting for even a second. It has continued this morning and still ‘I’ simply cannot put the breaks on, there is just the thrill and the willingness to carry this thing through to it’s conclusion.
It makes me think of what Richard wrote in his journal - “Are fear, terror, horror and dread only real Is it only an act I have to play out in order to be here now?”. But they have now lost the ability to halt progress.
Initially this fear seemed so vast and bottomless that there could be no way to proceed through it and yet there is this automatic courage to do exactly that, it seems there isn’t anything in ‘me’ left that would turn back around. This is certainly shaping up to be quite an adventure!
Geoffrey wrote :
RICHARD:I am full of admiration for the ‘me’ that dared to do such a thing. I owe all that I experience now to ‘me’. I salute ‘my’ audacity.
Who is that ‘me’, if not humanity?
‘I’ am humanity. And as such, ‘my’ destiny can be achieved.
“Pleasant and wholesome” could become a refuge, a hiding place, for an individual ‘I’, a special ‘I’, fortified in dissociation from the dark soil of humanity by its acquired ‘actualist identity’.
If one is to be humanity, then nothing of humanity shall be foreign to one.
“The psyche is a frightful place” indeed.
> What is it that Richard admires about ‘me’? Daring, and audacity.