Vineeto: it is imperative it be ‘me’ who will evince the final and complete condition which will deliver the goods so longed for by humanity for millennia
Kuba: This is an interesting one, I can see this doubt that I experience says exactly the opposite, that it could not possibly be ‘me’, that ‘I’ am not good enough etc. And there is a dichotomy there where ‘my’ humility (that doubt in disguise) has the effect of keeping ‘me’ in place. Whereas to contemplate doing as per the quote there is this fear of becoming an utter megalomaniac.
Funny how in reality it is all back to front, this highly prized humility will keep suffering going on forever and a day. Whereas it will label ‘my’ altruistic self-sacrifice as megalomaniacal in order to keep ‘me’ back where the herd is.
Indeed ‘humanity’ will not let anyone escape.
Perhaps this common-sense contemplation will help with your present confusion, where neither pride nor humility, neither doubt nor fear can give you an answer –
Richard: The ‘motivation’? Actually coming face-to-face – as a visceral experiencing – with the reality of all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides that are endemic to the human condition.
The ‘goal’? To bring to an end all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides that are endemic to the human condition. (Richard, List B, No. 13, 26 May 1999)
There is nothing “megalomaniac” to sincerely and passionately want “to bring to an end all the wars and murders and rapes and tortures and domestic violence and child abuse and sadness and loneliness and grief and depression and suicides that are endemic to the human condition”.
At this point in your life this is the only intelligent and worthwhile action to do, and I recommend not to rush into any action but to keep this as an open question until it clicks for you –
Richard: …the ‘I’ that was took full responsibility and an action that was not of ‘his’ doing resulted. (Richard, List B, No. 13, 14 June 1999)
You have painted yourself into a corner with an inevitable outcome and I salute your audacity.
Cheers Vineeto