So I was speaking with @Sonyaxx last night about my reluctance to abandon ‘humanity’. Initially it seemed like a selfish thing to do, to allow oneself utter freedom whilst ‘others’ are ‘back there’ suffering. This created the impression that the caring thing was to remain and to continue offering help from within ‘humanity’.
But it very quickly became clear to us that no actual benefit would happen as the result of ‘me’ remaining. Even helping others whilst remaining an identity is only made trickier, not only because it can be emotionally turbulent but also because it is experienced as ‘dirty’ by the others.
Offering help whilst outside of the human condition is completely free from any pathos and so not only is it more effective but it comes without all the ‘dirt’.
Sonya mentioned that in fact it is the other way around, that ‘I’ remain to help from the ‘inside’ only to assuage ‘my’ own feelings. All those feelings of guilt and what have you are designed to get ‘me’ right back into the herd where ‘I’ belong.
Indeed it is as if ‘I’ am a cattle, where ‘I’ cannot find any action within ‘myself’ that would exist completely outside of the ‘herd’. ‘I’ and the ‘herd’ are inextricably linked. It’s interesting because I have abandoned ‘humanity’ to the extent that I have virtually eliminated the social identity. But there is a much more fundamental aspect of what it means to be ‘one of many’. It goes deeper than just the beliefs and values that were taught to ‘me’ by society.
Which means that it has to be the solid experience of the actuality of others which offers that something outside of ‘humanity’, a motivation that allows ‘me’ to do something different than simply circling back to the herd.