This one is like the most ‘frustrating’ thing 
that it is right at the fingertips and I know it! It’s exactly this sense that I have always known it, it is so familiar in a sense like it is already the case/has always been the case. It’s like living with some weird dementia, like having a word right at the tip of my tongue and yet not quite being able to say it out loud. And it seems like there is no distance at all to be bridged, because actuality is already here, yet it seems just out of reach haha.
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