Kuba: This morning I became fascinated by the fact that ‘I’ cannot possibly be in charge of life. This self imposed burden is actually in contradiction with the facts. I remembered Richard writing in his journal of the gardening work he did whilst being lived by pure intent, how that which required attention could not be ignored, how the next part would present itself naturally, no need for any ‘grand plan’.
It is funny because one of the greatest objections ‘I’ had towards the universe was that no matter how hard ‘I’ tried to be in charge, to make things happen according to the ‘grand plan’, it was to no use. How much anxiety and stress ‘I’ lived trying to force ‘myself’ onto the universe and failing each time.
What ‘I’ didn’t see was that ‘my’ greatest objection is also the direction towards ‘my’ release. The facts of life as it actually happens make it impossible for ‘me’ to ever be in charge. And what a wonderful thing that is! Because it means that whatever burden ‘I’ impose upon ‘myself’ is not required, it was never required. And even if ‘I’ wanted to play that game (which ‘I’ did) ‘I’ could only pretend. Experiencing this utter freedom, of life already always living itself I once again had tears of appreciation running, seeing that this is here for everybody.
Hi @Kuba,
This is music to my ears.
It is fascinating to see how you and Claudiu come to very similar conclusions simultaneously. It is indeed “impossible for ‘me’ to ever be in charge” – which had been the very insight which allowed you to start on this line of inquiry and decide to get out from under control. And once I see that ‘I’ cannot possibly be in charge there is barely any justification left for ‘me’ to stay in existence – being in charge and carrying the burden of that responsibility is ‘my’ very raison d’être. As you rightly conclude, “you are here to enjoy and appreciate only”.
Kuba: I saw it as if the universe, in giving birth to this body has handed out an invitation to paradise. The invitation reads “everything is already in place, you are here to enjoy and appreciate only”.
What a wonderful new and naïve way of phrasing it – life is “an invitation to paradise”. I like it. It is indeed your birthright and your destiny both.
Kuba: It is a funny one though because I notice that the very language of ‘humanity’, the whole thrust of it all is a battle of ‘self’ against the universe, ‘I’/‘we’ have been straining for eons to battle against these facts of life. Sometimes I struggle to talk with others when every word is laden with these meanings e.g. “where do you see yourself in 5 years”, “who are you”, “what are your plans for the future”, “what do you believe in” etc. It might as well be a foreign language at times lol.
Yes, human language is entirely created and developed by feeling beings with a past, present and future as a straight line to go from A to B to C until death. It makes you aware of the aeons of human socialisation which you are about to leave behind.
Therefore Richard put so much care and consideration to find accurate, non-affective words and definitions for his experiential reports in ‘Terra Actualis’ and for feeling-beings to nevertheless understand what he is explaining to them (Abditorium, Index). Re-reading posts from earlier mailing lists I am constantly amazed how meticulously, and repeatedly, he explains the difference of real-world perception/affective interpretation and the descriptions of his own ongoing experience in the actual-world.
Kuba: So it has been a complete turn around for me since the days of the rift thread, of being in favour of ‘new school actualism’. I can see how very important it is for individuals to go completely beyond any shred of that illusion. To maintain ‘humanity’ in any degree is to perpetuate that fever dream in one’s fellow human beings. There are only facts and then there is illusion/delusion, why perpetuate the latter?
I realise there is only 1 person currently alive that exists as a genuinely safe target for others to aim for, 1 person able to speak securely to others completely outside of any illusion, with no shred of it left, and thus unable to perpetuate it in others.
I much appreciate your deep understanding of this fact that “to maintain ‘humanity’ in any degree is to perpetuate that fever dream in one’s fellow human beings”. It is vital for perfection and purity to be accessible for everybody. Yes, presently there is only one person fully free but I am informed that others are well on their way. Moreover –
[Richard]: The words and writings of both an actual and a virtual freedom from the human condition – be they spoken, printed or in pixels are now stored away in brain cells, on bookshelves and hard drives/ tapes/ CD’s/ DVD’s all around the globe. (link)
Kuba: I have so much appreciation for you @Vineeto, that this is what you are, it activates the desire in me to do what I can towards enabling peace on earth and a life in full meaning for all. What a ridiculously high standard and yet this is what I always wanted. Now this is something that I can do.
I deeply appreciate your appreciation. It is a pleasure and delight to write on this forum with so many engaged actualists, quite a few on the cusp of slipping into the actual world at any moment.
I also deeply appreciate and welcome your “ridiculously high standard” – this evolution in human consciousness requires pioneers who aim for the best, if not ‘bester’, and we are not alone in this enterprise.
[Richard]: ‘I’ am not alone in this endeavour because ‘I’ can tap into the purity and perfection of the infinitude of this physical universe with a pure intent … (link)
Cheers and best regards Vineeto
PS: If I remember correctly the last concern regarding the ending of ‘you’ was that it is unknown and as such an unknown step. If you look at that again, this is not quite accurate – you know the actual world experientially from your PCEs and you may well remember that during a PCE you knew that you have always been here. This was/is the same experience for me when I became actually free – I have always been here, at the time the whole of my 47 years. 