It seems the reason ‘I’ have not been willing to allow self-immolation thus far is simply because ‘I’ am not willing to give ‘myself’ up. I remember at the beginning I always had this tick list of things I wanted to achieve to ‘set the scene’ for becoming actually free - Have plenty of PCEs 
, arrive at a virtual freedom , have a thorough understanding of the human condition , being out from control I did not even consider a possibility but now its a
And yet here ‘I’ am still, and in a sense ‘I’ am no closer (or further) to self-immolation now than ‘I’ was initially, indeed there are no conditions. The ‘setting the scene’ is more what is done in the meantime whilst the decision to allow self-immolation is being made, while the case for a life free of ‘I/me’ is under review.
I was considering this just now and I notice that maintaining ‘myself’ benefits nobody, funnily enough ‘I’ experience ‘myself’ to be this ‘precious thing’. So precious and yet ‘I’ am rotten to ‘my’ very core… ‘My’ continued existence benefits absolutely nobody and yet ‘I’ am felt to be so precious?
So indeed ‘I’ will give up what ‘I’ hold most dear, ‘my’ precious rotten ‘self’. This is seen as an inevitability at this point, there is perfection and purity beckoning and then there is this precious rotten ‘me’. I remember Richard describing ‘being’ as this pearl nestled ‘inside’, this is exactly how I experience ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being, so very precious and so very rotten :
In that crystal-clear fully-lucid hypnopompic state ‘I’ was able to penetrate deeply into ‘myself’ at the core of ‘my’ being (which is ‘being’ itself) – or, rather, the penetration took place via ‘my’ full acquiescence – and there, in the centre of all the feelings swirling around, the essence of who ‘I’ am lay gorgeously exposed … not all that unlike a beautiful rosy pearl, nestled coyly amidst the delicate fleshy tissue of its host, in its shimmering nacreous shell.
I can see that this last part cannot be reasoned out, as in it cannot happen despite all the ‘good reasons’ to do it, what is being given up is too precious for ‘me’. It will have to be an experiential involvement, a powerful force (altruism) to allow the undoing of a powerful force (‘being’), and pure intent is that something outside of ‘me’ which will provide the leverage.