Only when I cared enough to give all of ‘me’ to another person, to give them what they want most, was I then ready to give it to the one I cared for most, the one I was closest to, and then I was able to leave all remnant concerns and inhibitions of my identity behind.
I have had a lot of fun contemplating this one, it dawned on me yesterday that the same thing applies in reverse, that I cannot genuinely want a freedom for another which I do not dare to grant myself.
But investigating this further I realise this is exactly the normal order of operations within ‘humanity’. Such as urging the other to “not worry about X as you are perfect as you are” and yet being devoured by insecurity oneself. How could I sincerely urge the other to live that which I do not dare to live myself? Surely then I do not know what I speak of.
So this kind of operation is a ploy, ‘I’ do not dare to proceed and instead settle for dishing out platitudes, then vicariously receiving some good feelings through urging the other to live that which ‘I’ cannot live myself.
The funny thing is that as always everything is back to front within ‘humanity’, because those who operate exactly in this way are seen as good and selfless… “Look how little they think of themselves and yet they urge all others to love themselves!” Yet the only fitting words I can pick for such a persona is a fraud and a hypocrite, and ‘they’ know this deep down hence the need to remain humble.
So as I wrote recently, the choice to allow happiness and harmlessness is actually the selfless choice, it is the caring and considerate choice and furthermore it is the daring choice. Because I do not merely get to sit back and dish out platitudes, in genuinely wanting a freedom for another I recognise that I must be daring enough to live this freedom myself. Otherwise my wish for their freedom would be empty, because I simply do not know what I speak of, I have not been daring enough to discover this freedom for myself.
So in the end whichever side I look from it is the same thing, and the outcome can only be action. Only when ‘I’ am ready to give to another what they want most am ‘I’ ready to grant this freedom to myself, BUT by the same token if ‘I’ genuinely want this freedom for another, there can only be action left.