So I don’t think I can pinpoint what led to the change (although I will see if an answer comes up), I first noticed something was different when I was at the same time down with a very strong flu so there was a lot going on experientially haha.
The difference I observe in myself now vs before is that before there was the experience of the breaks no longer working as well as the perfection and purity actively working away on ‘me’ as the ‘beer’. So there was often various strong affective responses arising due to this. Although the ‘doer’ is out of the way, the ‘beer’ is laid bare for the perfection and purity to work away.
It seems now ‘I’ as the ‘beer’ no longer have those reactions, as in there is no affective storms stirred up by the experience of perfection and purity. Which means that whatever was polluting the experience is no longer present. And it seems it is this lack of affective pollution which took the experience to the next level, with this utterly pristine, magical quality being apparent now.
So before there was the active connection to pure intent but it also came with some ‘affective shrapnel’, it’s as if that very same connection has remained but because ‘I’ fully stopped screaming and shouting it can now be appreciated for what it is.