So it seems things are still moving forward which is great! There is definitely a dynamic aspect to how things are playing out day by day. Things still come up but they do not stick, rather they are immediately divulged by attentiveness. And in this way bits of ‘me’ are falling away, this seems to be made possible because of the ongoing connection to the perfection and purity. With perfection and purity so easily accessible all around ‘I’ can accept being redundant and vacate the scene bit by bit.
It’s interesting to see that there are maybe 2 main themes which persist at this point, and even those are kind of phasing in and out, at times they dominate somewhat and then they are seen as unnecessary and fall back. But each day I find that it is those themes which are fading into the background and it is the perfection and purity which is starting to take centre stage.
Which means I am getting a good look at those last ‘identity commitments’, it is perfection and purity in one hand and ‘identity commitments’ in the other, at this point though the scale is strongly leaning towards the perfection and purity, which means the ‘identity commitments’ are being viewed from an entirely different vantage point.
It is easy to spot the difference between them too, that which is left of ‘my’ identity requires to be continually maintained, there is a certain painful effort this takes, ‘I’ don’t get to rest as long as ‘I’ remain an identity, for ‘I’ must maintain ‘myself’. Whereas living the perfection and purity there is no such burden of having to maintain ‘myself’.
It’s interesting because I specifically remember when I was a teenager, having this sense that I lost something, I could remember this faint sense of something precious which I lived as a child which was all of a sudden completely absent from my life, and I just didn’t know how to get it back, or maybe it never existed in the first place…
Nowadays that something precious which was lost has been re-discovered and is being lived more and more each day. It’s like being back to the place before ‘I’ took on the burden of being a ‘who’, in a word it is naiveté 