02/25/2026
It’s been a minute since I’ve written here and some interesting things have been developing, so worth an update as well as the chance to be visible for suggestions or corrections 
Things have been going very well for me on multiple fronts, the lack of romance in my life has been causing me much less suffering than it once did, work has been getting easier seemingly by the week, and overall the knot that is ‘me’ has been gradually loosening.
One of the big themes for me over the last year has been investigating all the various rumored conspiracies going on in the world, NWO, illuminati etc. That has proven quite interesting and I find myself today with a much different worldview than I held 1 year ago. One of the first bricks to tumble was realizing that I had been essentially imbibing without any critical thought every opinion I read on reddit; it was quite embarrassing to discover that I had been doing that and yet considered myself an intelligent adult. I still don’t see myself as someone who ‘knows what’s going on,’ but I have been able to draw many correlations that I didn’t know about before at all. I’ve come to see that much of how the ‘normal’ worldview is maintained is via a purposefully constructed & well-funded network of ‘news’ sources which enforce via ‘full-court-press’ specific ways of seeing the world.
This was all beginning to take shape as the information surrounding Jeffery Epstein has been gradually gaining steam and then bursting through the Overton Window Kool-Aid man style last month. It is now seemingly completely mainstream to question the ‘normal,’ which itself has many interesting implications.
All of this is complicated by the extremely atomized information world now with social media. Who believes what depends on what their specific algorithm or subculture has fed them, though there are still only a few ‘main-streams.’
All of this has had me questioning myself more closely than ever regarding what I know and don’t know, and where beliefs are filling large knowledge gaps. It became clear to me a couple of weeks ago that much of my investigating via youtube was still subject to much of the same pitfalls of ‘knowing’ which I was falling into before: just because some confident-seeming ‘content creator’ was saying something, doesn’t make it a fact. To have any confidence at all involves much more in-depth research, little by little, and even then you’re often left drawing not much more than strong correlations.
All of this was beginning to lead me into a bit of a tizzy until a week ago I was reading some posts by @claudiu & @Vineeto which reminded me of the simplicity & purity of pure intent. All at once, my complex ‘figuring it out’ was replaced by an exquisitely straightforward observing of the parking lot around me and birds playing in the breeze, and me naively wondering just what this world is made of.
I’m a long way from having a clear picture, but I think this progression has placed me in a more sincere & genuine place to put it all together.
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Another element of this has been contending with the toll that these monstrous humans have taken on humanity… I came across a video the other day that purported to report an interaction with Jeffery Epstein wherein he explained that he ‘hadn’t been happy in years.’ Here was Richard’s hypothesis, that we humans harm one another out of an miserable & feisty self… taken to the most extreme degree. I can see how someone could become trapped in such a state and not know the way out.
I have more to ponder on this topic but perhaps that is enough to start with.