I’m back! It’s been over half a year since I last posted, but I’ve still been on the forums and on AFT reading a lot. There’s been quite a few big changes in my life recently, namely that I am living with my partner now. This has bolstered my motivation even further as I can see the effect that my bad moods, or just being a ‘self’ in general has on her. Right now my focus is on applying the method, enjoying and appreciating no matter what is going on in my life. I have realized recently that I have not been applying the method correctly at all. Whenever I would have an uncomfortable feeling, I would immediately begin to investigate it, often getting frustrated and lost in the mazes of my mind as feeling good “failed to show up”. Some kind of weird dissociation. I guess I wasn’t even willing to feel these uncomfortable feelings, as I had to be successful in applying the method ASAP. To rectify this, I am being more patient when I feel bad, trying to really see what’s going on. And then once I’ve got a good handle on what I’m feeling (and any investigation happens simultaneously when I’m not pushing feelings away, since I get curious), I can “choose” to feel good. More accurately, it dawns on me that it’s silly to feel bad in this situation when I can feel good instead. But I cannot force this seeing.
3 Likes