On the way to my new job, I become aware that my body is tense, and then I reflect: “I am the one who is tense, not my body,” while I relax my muscles (making a shift in my affective behaviour) and once again I enjoy this moment of driving the car (It would have been better a bicycle, something more sensorial).
I remember the last Vipassana retreat I did (2019), 10 days, in which a guy sitting next to me shared his experience after 25 years of practice: “each time I sit, for several hours, the most I can, I see myself as a soldier with a flamethrower, burning all the impurities, of my being that have punished this body for many lives." I was terrified and that was when I finally realized that that was not my path.
Now I realize that at least he had a point: the body is not to blame, it is “I” who has subjected and punished it all this time. It is “I” who must disappear, abandon the throne, set it free. But the method was not correct, you cannot free the body by subjeting yourself to intense days, leaving it physically immobile, something not natural for this body made by this universe, to move and enjoy being aware of itself and everything that surrounds and stimulates it. The sensitive approach is that which consists of observing that which goes against this body, and that is “I”. So I make peace with myself and establish the commitment to be generous with this body, support of everything “I” am and true actual reality. I no longer need to relax my body, I need to relax the one who tenses it because he believes he has difficult missions to accomplish in this real world.