The trigger was the painful condition of my back and not seeing anyway for it to get better and that it can only get worse.
The fact is the pain is tolerable with the pain meds and my new back doctor might can help me. The name of his practice is Texas Intervention Pain Care so maybe he can intervene although I can’t see it. I need to be patient and give him a chance. Patience is the key.
My motivation is my memory of the actual world.
I can get back to feeling good by getting a good night of sleep and start eating better and doing what exercise I can to strengthen the core of my back like he told me to do.