“It is also handy that I can consciously set my intent towards appreciating, and from there it seems there in no cap on how wonderful things can get.”
Thanks @Kub933 It clicked for me here where you said “consciously set my intent towards appreciating”. That is what I was looking for as to how to apply appreciation.
Thanks, Vineeto, this is very useful. And yes, my replies were rushed and reductionistic, as I got sucked in a very specific aspect of what Claudiu wrote there and hyper focused there.
And then you stopped enjoying and in the next – intellectually thought-out – sentence you started worrying about getting “distracted/ entertainment” . Why?
Part of the rush. Happens to me often when I’m excited and caffeinated: jump from idea to idea fast, lol. It can also be indicative of my distracted nature (part of why I haven’t been able to fully focus on actualist endeavors all along and rather chase all kinds of cheap dopaminergic rewards).
I will shut up now as this thinking out loud of mine in these last posts isn’t too beneficial for the conversation.
To clarify I’ve experienced the range of experiences you are describing before, I think just I’m still not tuned into it all yet as I’ve been distant from actualism, or at least I practice it on and off, for a while.
Thanks for the responses again.
Hi Felipe,
@Felipe: Thanks, Vineeto, this is very useful. And yes, my replies were rushed and reductionistic, as I got sucked in a very specific aspect of what Claudiu wrote there and hyper focused there.
You are very welcome Felipe. Was it about contemplation and its relation to appreciation?
Vineeto: And then you stopped enjoying and in the next – intellectually thought-out – sentence you started worrying about getting “distracted/ entertainment”. Why?
Felipe: Part of the rush. Happens to me often when I’m excited and caffeinated: jump from idea to idea fast, lol. It can also be indicative of my distracted nature (part of why I haven’t been able to fully focus on actualist endeavors all along and rather chase all kinds of cheap dopaminergic rewards).
That’s understandable – so you will dig a bit deeper into this habit so to be able to focus better on what you really want to do?
Felipe: I will shut up now as this thinking out loud of mine in these last posts isn’t too beneficial for the conversation.
Ah, but that would mean running off again so as to remain as you are – and you didn’t really describe these qualities (rushed, reductionistic, distracted nature, chasing cheap dopaminergic rewards) as something you want to proudly maintain, or do you?
Why not give actualism another go, with new input and insights, and get to an ongoing enjoyment and appreciation each moment again? You will find that people here are happy to help and assist.
Felipe: To clarify I’ve experienced the range of experiences you are describing before, I think just I’m still not tuned into it all yet as I’ve been distant from actualism, or at least I practice it on and off, for a while.
Yes, I understand that – I can recommend the thread “Richard has passed away” as an introduction for why appreciation now gets such a prominent place in the actualism practice.
To clarify further what you had said yesterday –
At first I took it as the sensorial part (enjoyment = more affective, appreciation = more sensorial). The word has also been somewhat charged with hints of positive/love feelings (such as love and gratitude), at least in Spanish. (link)
A good example that translating actualism writing into other languages is fraught with misunderstandings.
Feeling good and appreciation are felicitous feelings, those who allow you to disentangle yourself from the identity-enhancing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings more and more. Whereas love and gratitude are ‘good’ feelings/ to counteract ‘bad’ feelings. Once you marvel at/appreciate how you feel, what you see and experience, there can be no mixing up of the two. As Kuba said only recently –
Kuba: The other interesting thing is that the difference between appreciation and gratitude is clear as day. (link)
Thanks for the responses again.
You are very welcome, Felipe, stick around it might be worth your while.
Here is an inspiring insight from Felix – in fact the whole post might ring a bell with you 
–
Felix: Feeling good becomes a value in itself from this vantage point, and is felt to be something incredibly valuable to have and to share. It creates a whole new way of looking at the world and being in the world – all because oneself has changed as the lens through which everything is experienced and perceived. I have been the block all along. Which we always knew but it’s weird to see how true it is… (link)
Cheers Vineeto
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Finally reread TMOBA after V’s suggestion and it really does say it all. Here is the last paragraph:
“Then there is nothing except the series of sensations which happen … not happening to an ‘I’ or a ‘me’ but just happening … moment by moment … one after another. To live life as these sensations, as distinct from having them, engenders the most astonishing sense of freedom and magic. It is all so peaceful, in this actual world; one is living in peace and tranquillity; a meaningful peace and tranquillity. Life is intrinsically purposeful, the reason for existence lies openly all around. It never goes away – nor has it ever been away – it was just that ‘I’/‘me’ was standing in the way of the meaning of life being apparent. The answer to everything that has puzzled humankind for all of human history is readily elucidated when one is actually free.”
“The ‘Mystery of Life’ has been penetrated and laid open for all those with the eyes to see.”
“Consistently enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive is what the actualism method is.”
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I am finding that money is a good way to show/apply appreciation. My maid and my yard man both live below the poverty level and I am paying them twenty dollars per hour. This helps them out a lot and they are helping me a lot. It is a win-win situation.
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I’m thinking of changing my phone number as a step toward leaving humanity. I still have psychic connections to my ex-wife and old acquaintances and friends that are connecting me to humanity. In the end it is my feeler that is keeping me connected.
I know there are arguments saying this is not the way to go. It just seems like this could be a sensible move at this point. I keep thinking about what V said about Peter not being able to give up his guardian so he ended up going back to where he had family and friends. I’m thinking that if I don’t have any family or friends to go back to it could help me leave humanity.
I had an experience of leaving humanity which seemed to be like fear without the feeling.
I woke up and there was an emptiness like nowhere to turn. It seemed like fear but there was no feeling.
James:
I had an experience of leaving humanity which seemed to be like fear without the feeling.
James:
I woke up and there was an emptiness like nowhere to turn. It seemed like fear but there was no feeling.
Hi @James,
It seems you have been pushing yourself to leaving humanity because you have ended up in an ASC/state of dissociation. “Emptiness” is the wrong direction if you want to become actually free from the human condition.
I suggest getting back to feeling good … and read the freshly-published report from Dona and Alan [[link]
(Dona and Alan - Questions to Richard & Vineeto)], which talks a lot about the difference between forcefully attempting self-immolation and giving oneself permission to allow it to happen.
Cheers Vineeto
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Thanks V, I really do get your message to not force it and allow it to happen.
The problem I have with allowing it to happen is it never happens.
James: The problem I have with allowing it to happen is it never happens.
Hi @James,
I think the reason is that you misunderstand/ misinterpret the words “allowing it to happen”. You seem to think it is equivalent to waiting for it to happen in a passive way.
This is not the case at all. Becoming free from the human condition needs your active intention and participation. In fact, to become free from all the ills of the human condition you need to want it like you never wanted anything in your life, and do whatever you can to be able to let it happen when the time is ripe.
Here is one answer in the already mentioned web-page [(Dona and Alan - Questions to Richard & Vineeto)], which I recommended for your reading yesterday -
Geoffrey: There is something I’ve been thinking about since:
James: Dona, I have a question for Richard: What will it take for me to go the rest of the way to af? […]
Dona: Since we cannot eliminate ourselves, by ourselves (you cannot pull yourself up with your own bootstraps) he suggests that you set this intention: “I give myself permission to allow it to happen.”
Geoffrey: I remember making a remark on Slack that ‘allowing it to happen’ we usually used in reference to having PCEs, not self-immolation. And that it was a nice ‘parallel’ between the identity going in abeyance, and in oblivion.
But I was wondering if there was more to this than just a ‘parallel’.Alan: Richard has never suggested “trying to self-immolate”. There are no ‘rules’ and no conditions for self-immolation to happen.
Geoffrey: … and there go my many ‘attempts’ lol, including yesterday’s one (when I was “contemplating on altruism”) – which interestingly ended in a PCE. This has happened lately, that when ‘trying’ to self-immolate I don’t end up in ASCs anymore, but in PCEs. This is the case since I’ve stopped ‘forcing it’, but instead trying to ‘allow it to happen’.
As you can see, Geoffrey did not just wait for something to happen, he was contemplating - just for an example - on altruism, on the nature of a PCE and on self-immolation. He was intentioned, with pure intent, to figure out how to get ready to “allowing it”.
I guess you have not read this part thoroughly or have not sufficiently understood the implications. Here are Richard’s/ Dona’s suggestions on how you can get ready to “allowing it” to happen in an active and participatory way -
Geoffrey: 4. If so I have to ask once more the question you must be tired to hear: how do I get ready?
Dona: again, there are no conditions, you are ready when you are ready.
Then in the meantime… (Lol… You know the answer…) … Yep, the actualism method.
Though Richard and Vineeto understand that you want a “formula” (Dona sidenote: so do I!) … There is none. Everyone is different and has their own way.
There are things that Vineeto suggested that she did … But … they are NOT to be considered “conditions”.
Know yourself (Dona: I recommend using the website for ideas on that).
Find all the objections to self-immolation (goes with the first one, know yourself).
Imitate the actual world as much as humanly possible.
Make it your number one aim/ goal/ intent.
Allow it to happen (no forcing it).
When you have put all the above suggestions and more into practice and feel really excellent most of the time and have made becoming free your number one aim in life, figure out any objections you might have (and presently you have some why else did you have to force it), then perhaps you have a different result when “allowing it to happen”.
Cheers Vineeto
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I don’t want it like a drowning man wants air. I never have. My objections are I don’t know how and I can’t.
It is my belief that I can’t.
James: I don’t want it like a drowning man wants air. I never have. My objections are I don’t know how and I can’t. It is my belief that I can’t.
Hi James,
Let me represent what Richard has answered to a similar question of yours 25 years ago –
James: My question is: Can I permanently disappear the ‘I’ and the ‘me’?
RICHARD: Speaking personally, I did not ‘permanently disappear the ‘I’ and the ‘me’’ … it was the identity that did all the work. Who you think and feel and instinctively ‘know’ yourself to be has a job to do: When ‘I’ willingly self-immolate – psychologically and psychically – then ‘I’ am making the most noble sacrifice that ‘I’ can make for oneself and all humankind … for ‘I’ am what ‘I’ hold most dear. It is ‘my’ moment of glory. It is ‘my’ crowning achievement … it makes ‘my’ petty life all worth while. It is not an event to be missed … to physically die without having experienced what it is like to become dead is such a waste of a life.
There is an intrinsic trait common to all sentient beings: self-sacrifice. [Richard, List B, James, 24 Sep. 1999]
I saw a few weeks ago that you have already made cremation arrangements [link] – therefore, what have you got to lose?
Nothing to lose but a belief … and so much to gain!
Cheers Vineeto
I did get a glimpse about a month ago of the five minutes that Richard spoke of that is worth more than a lifetime of the human condition. I am going to shoot for that by remembering it.
I need to focus on the self-sacrifice aspect of it.
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The thing for me to do is to leave humanity myself instead of worrying about no one else seems to be doing it.
Leaving humanity is not about looking good or saying the right thing.
I’m at the part where I can relate to nothing and nobody. Not even actualism. The only thing that seems imminent is physical death.
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There is a dominant feeling of love keeping my feeler alive right now. I need to end this once and for all with my ex- wife or I will never be free. I need to end it in such a way that it is final. If it hurts her to do it this way then I can’t help it. It is going to be hard to do but my freedom is more important than a lingering feeling of love.
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