Interesting way of putting it. I hadn’t quite seen it this way before but yes, this is part of what’s happening I think. I do get something out of the ‘struggle’ and the ‘mystery’ of it. I don’t think that’s the whole cause of the worry but it is definitely part of it.
Sometimes it seems like i need nerves of steel to move from worrying to enjoying. Enjoying life can seem like a very fearless and bold choice when I am in the grip of worry. Is that different from what your experience was? Perhaps it’s not the actual choice to enjoy that takes nerves of steel, but the willingness to drop the objections first can?
This is all very helpful to remember, thanks.
Yes, it’s starting to become clear to me that this is true. It’s something that is squarely within my power to do, and I have started getting some renewed determination to proceed in spite of the fear. I’ve been rereading Peter’s journal over the last couple of days and I enjoy hearing about the way his potent motivation came about - “nothing left to lose”.
It does feel like being a different person when I do this, and I don’t know how things will change as a result, but I am also clearly aware that I don’t want to maintain a status quo that includes as an integral piece a backdrop of worry and anxiety.
Cheers Adam