So I never had an easy relationship with my mum, we were always somewhat close but always in conflict. She moved away to New Zealand for a few years and in the meantime I started with Actualism. Basically she hasn’t seen me since I have been applying the method and she has recently moved back to the UK so we have had some time to spend together. I have seen her a handful of times since she’s back and this morning she messaged me back with this observation :
“Kuba, I want to tell you that your approach to me, the way how you are with me is soooo nice. You have not been abrupt since I came back. Even when we had the first conversation and I cried you were not unpleasant. I cried, but I enjoyed talking to you. It is a very valuable change in your behaviour towards me. Towards me and people close to you which is an important feature- this is the most difficult thing to be nice to those who are close to us, not only to strangers. I would like to believe that you will keep the nice part of yourself ”
This really made me pleased because she has no clue about just how much I have changed since, but its really cool that it is a noticable change in how I am with others, especially the ones that I always lived in conflict with.
It’s also interesting because the conversation when she cried was a very intense discussion about love and I didn’t hold back with my view on things but I was able to talk to her in a way that was direct and at times intense but never malicious and she enjoyed the conversation.
I haven’t been ‘trying’ to be nice to her either, I am to her like I am with anyone else I come in contact with, relatively happy and harmless no matter what
So not really anything to discuss but a little testimonial to show that this thing really works!