I already do. Sex was great.
The beauty reactions were automatic. A lot of my angst (I can now see) was wanting to be the best actualist vs the reactions that I was having.
I felt naturally disappointed about her looks but also a failure at actualism. I talked about actual intimacy being better than love, explained so much else too, but felt a complete fraud when I couldn’t move beyond the beauty reaction.
I am feeling really good now, and will most likely continue seeing her.
These posts by Kuba and Josef showed me the key to feeling good again.