The last few days I’ve been contemplating, similarly to Kuba here, on the immediacy and unconditionality of feeling good, specifically after a couple of days when my mood dipped to low levels uncommon to me over the last weeks.
So, things have been rough for my portfolio lately, and I basically lost even more money in that event that triggered me and uncovered that my actualist progress wasn’t as rock solid as I thought, as I still evidently dearly hold a lot of beliefs about my favorite theme: financial security.
Anyway, after investigating and bouncing back to feeling generally good the next day, I was reading an old post in the forum and came across the phrase “it was difficult to find joy” from another correspondent, and something hit me while living the contrast of the misery around my money a day before and the state of being carefree that I was in.
I suddenly found the whole thing nonsensical and comical after I saw it externally verbalized that way. How do we mean “it’s hard to find joy”, when we as actualists know experientially that there is an infinite source of it? It’s so silly that we go about looking for something in all the known wrong places incessantly, when we already know where it is and the thing is as big as it gets!
In Mexico, there’s this common phrase told by moms: “si voy y lo encuentro, ¿qué te hago?” (meaning literally “if I go and find it, what should I do to you?” in a menacing way, because you are wasting her time), that applies in the typical situation when you as a kid can’t find something in your room, get desperate the more you search for it, and it’s in plain sight, but you were too busy worrying and obsessing about it rather than calmly looking for it.
That’s basically what happens everyday. We have this inner child that gets emotional, and then obsessively looks in the same emotional places again and again to no avail, when there’s a joyful elephant in the corner of the room just waiting to be noticed all along.
And then comes our internal mom castigating us when this happens, making us feel stupid and ashamed about the whole thing at first, but ultimately it’s nice to find how the mother-son dynamic shifts little by little to the mom gently pointing at the obvious, and both just laughing at the silliness of it all, making each transition more and more seamless.
Because, if we zoom out, we’re so privileged to have this key insider information to operate this infinite joy printing machine that we can use with impunity, and we don’t use it? It’s not only wasteful but irresponsible! 
