I just changed the title to include “external control”.
As this was an experience happening between two people, then i have to include the other in it’s creation.
It seems to line up;
Impotence: The feeling of being frustrated in a desire.
Control: The other is in control.
It’s actually now a bit clearer, that this “class” of feeling, to a different degree and experience, is also something i have at work.
The boss is in control.
Now, in both situations, i could leave. But, ultimately, only leaving the human condition could cure external control of my feelings (of ‘me’) by others.
At work, the answer was to play the role expected. To give caesar what is caesar’s. (to quote my old jewish peasant friend - the sweet lawn cheeses).