Kuba: Thank you Vineeto, your post was initially received on my end with a ‘sting’ (the sting being ‘my’ emotional reaction to the facts presented), the thought of “how can I still manage to get things so wrong”, but of course I will continue to miss the mark until I hit bullseye. It’s better to correct course in an expedient manner rather than having to go so far down the road to realise it is a dead end. I will just add that conversing with you has always made me think to what Richard wrote in his journal – “I am experiencing life from the vantage point of being a totally fascinated person … and a fascinated person is someone who can be extremely interesting to be with for those who dare”. This “for those who dare” is a key qualifier here because there is simply no way ‘I’ could predict what you are going to say. Whatever ‘Vineeto’ exists in ‘my’ psyche is of course not the flesh and blood Vineeto that writes the post, as always originally and completely impervious to anything that may be going on in ‘my’ reality.
Hi Kuba,
I appreciate your detailed explanation and I do experience from our correspondence that for you (and others who dare) our conversations “can be extremely interesting” and of course many times surprising because my “vantage point” does not match the reality you live in. Feeling being ‘Vineeto’ was so fascinated that oft times in the first few weeks ‘she’ experienced as if ‘her’ brain was being turned upside down and ‘she’ had to relearn how to think all over again. (link)
I am immensely pleased that despite experiencing occasional ‘stings’ you nevertheless contemplate what I say to find out something which hadn’t occurred to you in order to move closer to your destiny. I am also having a lot of fun talking about my favourite topic.
Kuba: I was doing a lot of driving yesterday for work and so I had plenty of time to contemplate on what was being spoken about. I can see now that to go down the route I was presenting would be for ‘me’ to try to squeeze ‘myself’ into actuality and of course take all ‘my’ serious standards along with ‘me’. So ‘I’ was the arbiter who managed to reverse the order of operations, now it is actuality that had to prove itself to ‘me’, against ‘my’ standards.
I did have many fascinating flashes yesterday of the answer to this, they all had the same flavour of total release. This total release was related to the nature of what happens at self-immolation, which is specifically not only that ‘I’ cease to exist but that ‘I’ would have never actually existed in the first place. So of course trying to take any standard of ‘mine’ into actuality would be back to front, for that standard ceases to exist when ‘I’ disappear. And not only that but looking back that standard would ultimately never have made sense to begin with, as it required ‘my’ existence as a reference point. […]
It is rather fascinating how sticky and obstinate ‘I’ can be to want to carve out some sort of an afterlife for ‘me’ when ‘I’ disappear. So that you are not disappointed later on, there may be some standards of ‘you’ anyway from a persistent social identity which you can resolve after the feeling being and the identity formed thereof has self-immolated. Apparently ‘you’, the identity, considers ‘himself’ something extraordinarily precious (whereas in fact ‘you’ are as ‘precious’ or as common as every other ‘precious’ identity).
If ‘you’ really wanted to be extraordinary, ‘you’ would need to do something hardly anyone else does … but I know that this tease does not work, because one cannot ‘self’-immolate to be better than others. 
Hence you need to patiently bring your ‘self’ on board to want/ agree to the benefit that ‘your’ demise will deliver – oblivion, as well as a sacrifice, which makes ‘your’ life worthwhile – for the benefit of something more valuable than ‘your’ own survival.
But all these very serious and philosophical, albeit passionate, deliberations can fall by the wayside when you are having so much fun being alive, being naiveté (the closest an identity can be to actual innocence), that experiencing this felicity and appreciation is way more enjoyable and preferable to any ideas of afterlife standards or fantasies of reverend tombstones ‘you’ can ever erect.
Kuba: Of course ‘I’ am not meaningless in this endeavour of becoming actually free as ‘I’ am the only one who can set this body free, it is more the seeing that when ‘I’ self immolate ‘I’ become extinct, which means that any construct that ‘I’ weaved will also dissolve, it will no longer make sense as it required ‘me’ as the arbiter.
So yes there was so much release in these experiences because it showed that with ‘me’ never having actually existed in the first place nothing was ever actually wrong, the painful story of ‘my’ life is only as real as ‘I’ am, and that it is possible for all of that to become extinct in one fell swoop.
That is indeed so – “the painful story of ‘my’ life is only as real as ‘I’ am” because all ‘your’ painful emotional memories will be wiped out and only the actual body’s memories will remain. ‘You’ are presently only concerned about the past and the future – no wonder you are so worried about the survival of ‘your’ “serious standards” .
Maybe you remember what it says in the first paragraph of This Moment of Being Alive –
Richard: “… it is essential for success to grasp the fact that this very moment which is happening now is your only moment of being alive. The past, although it did happen, is not actual now. The future, though it will happen, is not actual now. Only now is actual.”
Come out and play, there is nothing to lose but your shackles.
Cheers Vineeto