Life is funny 
The main doubt I have about whether what I am experiencing can be called out-from-control virtual freedom is due to the following:
RICHARD: It is more than a trifle odd for someone who self-describes, publicly, on the same day as this recording (i.e., 22 Jan 2016 in Message â 21740) as being âout from controlâ as per actualism lingo â as well as writing of having an âextensive experienceâ of pure consciousness experiences (PCEâs), of having an âextensive knowledgeâ of the actual freedom writings, of having âspoken extensivelyâ with Richard, and of being thus âwell preparedâ for the âIntimate Ambience Experimentâ which these recordings are a product of â to not have a current-time awareness of how they are experiencing this moment of being alive, each moment again, when the primary descriptors of being out-from-control is that it is of the nature of either an ongoing, and thus constantly dynamic, excellence experience (EE) or a similarly dynamic intimacy experience (IE).
In other words, someone genuinely out-from-control is constantly (i.e., consistently) âfeeling excellentâ, come-what-may, by the very nature of what that term refers to [emphasis added] [source]
That is, I wouldnât say I am consistently feeling excellent per se, as I have been feeling much fear which is not pleasant by the nature of what fear is.
But then again, a panic attack and âsitting on a huge mountain of dread with his hands in his pocket whistling a tuneâ do not sound pleasant either, yet these happened for two particular out-from-control feeling-beings:
VINEETO: Many weird and whacky, as well as magical and wonderful events happened, which I wonât relate here because they were only relevant for the first two pioneers of the direct route to an actual freedom. What I can say, however is that being-out-from control, living on the actual freedom side of the wall of fear, enabled an ever-increasing apperceptive attentiveness that allowed me to breeze through one of the most intense panic attacks I ever experienced. Richard has described one of those panic attacks during his own out-from-control period as experiencing himself as if âsitting on a huge mountain of dread with his hands in his pocket whistling a tuneâ.
I fully concur with his description as far as my own experience of this particular panic attack was concerned. Despite the physical contractions and the racing of panicky thoughts there was an overall (ah No. 3, here is that word again!) background awareness, aka apperceptive attentiveness, that all is well and that the material universe is indeed utterly benign.
[source]
What is certainly true is that despite feeling often-intense fear, I would say there is indeed a background awareness of the purity of the universe, which informs me that everything is actually entirely well in the world. During the midst of it at one point I was able to step back such that I was closer to that/was more that background awareness and see that essentially the process that is happening is me working through the various conditionings and objections that remain.
What is also true is that whenever I consciously decide to ârememorate the PCEâ, easily and effortlessly I am experiencing that purity more. It is like I figured out how to swim from here to there and I can very easily swim over to there now.
So it is sort of amusing, Iâll feel like I feel bad and that I must be a fraud because I feel such fear about what is happening, and then the next minute I feel fantastic and that everything is well in the world and there is no real issue at hand.
I write all this to describe my experience accurately so as to not mislead or present misconceptions about what Iâm experiencing.
What is definitely true is that I have certainly become obsessed with continuing this process. I am essentially spending all my conscious efforts on it.
What is also interesting is that the content of my objections have nothing to do with the particulars of my life anymore. Any such objections actually get resolved really quickly. Like for example, I felt deflated and disappointed that we missed a boat (literally) for a boat tour, we were rushing to do it and I thought we had made it but my partner didnât see a few missed calls and they gave our seats away to someone else. My partner apologized and I said itâs ok, I just felt deflated and disappointed because we were rushing to do it and I thought we had made it, and we hugged and there was no lingering resentment, annoyance or issue whatsoever, just completely resolved issue with no aftermath (and no hesitation to voice (and not vent) what I was feeling!).
What is very strange is that my objections currently essentially amount to it being impossible that the universe can really be so perfect and that there really can be nothing wrong. Like, really, the universe is already perfect? Nothing is wrong? I donât have to do anything but allow this perfection? Thatâs it? Somehow I am having these wild reactions that things are too perfect. It is really bizarre, but I suppose a lifetime of conditioning will lead to bizarre things. So I simultaneously feel like I have more to go than I thought, but also that there is really not much left.
I have this analogy in my head of a frightful dog that enjoys hugging but is too fearful. So, they would enjoy cuddling with their human, but when their human cuddles them they become uncomfortable and afraid and dart away. It is a matter for that animal to realize it is safe to cuddle and itâs ok for them to enjoy it, and then it would be better for them as there is no actual danger and they do actually like cuddling. So too with me and the universe 
Cheers,
Claudiu