Chrono's Journal

[cross.chrono]

@Vineeto

Before you contemplate ‘being naiveté’ or going “deep”, or “planning of naiveté being ‘your’ “path”, it is not. It is the path of self-less inclination, hence ‘you’ won’t have much of a role to play apart from objecting.

Why not start being naïve, in little steps. First it feels a bit uncomfortable, foolish or insecure (like a teenager first talking to a girl for instance). Then you dare extending this modus operandi a bit longer, expand into other areas of life – and you find it feels good, light, different, felicitous. You do it at your own pace, of course, don’t even think of pushing yourself, perhaps remember how you were as a kid (but now with adult sensibilities) and … enjoy it. You might find other people respond, like it, even become more friendly (naiveté is infectious).

Allowing yourself to be naive is indeed different to what serious sophisticated people in the world do – but who cares. Being naïve, you like yourself and simultaneously like others. It feels good, it is harmless and it’s infectious. Appreciate your small steps, then bigger steps, in this new way of living. It gives you confidence. It is intimate and invites naïve intimacy with fellow human beings. Being naïve includes not knowing what you are going to do next, or say next, being spontaneously happy and harmless. The less you pay attention to any self-image or pride, the easier it becomes. Putting everything on a ‘it doesn’t matter’ basis allows you to be less ‘self’-oriented and more open to the adventure of what being here actually is.

It’s fun.

I have been thinking on what you say here. And it struck me that the peace-on-earth of actual freedom is already always existing. Peace-on-earth exists already but only when ‘I’ in my entirety am no more. Thus the path is of a self-less inclination. Perhaps I’ve undiscerningly glossed over it. I also took note of what you wrote at the end that “It’s fun”. Well am I having fun consistently? Am I enjoying and appreciating consistently? What’s in the way? What is it I really want?

Thus in an overall manner to having more fun consistently the thing that sticks out to me the most is what I can only describe as a persona that’s bent on being sophisticated. A sophisticate. Making things complicated. Setting up an “image” of myself. Being serious. Even the visceral maneuvering in my thinking and feeling. I found immediate relief in this noticing because only in this way I finally don’t have to be a “someone”. Interestingly, it was one of my major qualms with work that I noticed a while back. It’s not that work itself is majorly difficult, it’s that I have to be a “someone” at work. But it’s actually enjoyable when I don’t. Being a “someone” is a serious business. And this extends to pretty much every aspect of my life.

@Vineeto

Don’t “try”, don’t ‘work’ on it – just allow the hidden-away-during-puberty childhood naïveté to bubble up.

Yes I’ve set my benchmark that if there’s a feeling of effort or “work” involved then something may be amiss. I was thinking that maybe I’m just being lazy, but then the opposite of this is to be getting to “work” on it.

@Vineeto

Well, it is still possible to be hurt because you might still have unexamined issues, but that is the challenge and opportunity to clean yourself up. The main fear, as you said, is that you don’t know what will be happening – being naïve you would more likely welcome the adventure rather than fear it.

Yes it’s much more enjoyable to welcome the adventure rather than fear it.

One of the things that I noticed in the PCE described prior was that I did not “know” what would happen next or even what I would say or do. It happened of its own accord and I acted in a beneficial and friendly way. And I noticed after some time that ‘my’ main way of being is to be control itself. I am always projecting into a past, present, and future. This is a way to ensure that ‘I’ exist and remain in control. This aspect of there not being control is scary to me because it feels this is the way that I can protect this body.

@Vineeto

Are you making a spreadsheet for all the pros and cons before you start living it? And who is in charge of making the assessment? ‘Me’ and ‘my’ desires and fears or pure intent? Armchair planning gets you nowhere – dare, and care to dare, and just do it.

Ha, weirdly a mental spreadsheet sounds like something that I am “supposed” to do. But if I keep it simple, I just enjoy feeling good. This unraveling of what I have been doing this whole time is helping push the envelope further.

@Vineeto

Ah, another “I will have to”. But you can voluntarily make a shift because intimacy is such a delicious happening to explore. Actualism is not like learning or training for an exam like in the real world – if it’s not fun and being friendly with yourself, don’t even consider it.

Yes I’ve set a cue for if a “I will have to” comes up to see if I am trying to jump the gun.

@Vineeto

Yes, it is possible, mainly from lingering memories of your various PCEs and moments of apperceptiveness. The “awareness of being a flesh and blood body” can peek through, especially when no good or bad feelings interfere with your enjoyment and appreciation of being here. But this does not mean that there is a “connection between ‘me’ and the actual”.

Is this because only being naivete can make this connection? Or that there cannot actually be a connection between ‘me’ and the actual?

@Vineeto

The word “respect” comes from the Latin respectus, meaning “a looking at” or “regard”, and the verb respicere, “to look back at”. (Respect - Etymology, Origin & Meaning ).
Development of meaning: From this original sense, the meaning evolved to include “regard”, “esteem”, and “consideration”. (Merriam Webster)

As you can see the word has a perfectly neutral origin, it’s time that the meaning again expands from having “a connotation of some authority” only. I like both words.

As for authority, that is a different issue for another conversation. For now, if you are interested, I recommend the selected correspondences found on the library page regarding authority and the section on authority in the Basic to Full Freedom article.

I think the reason that the word respect has the connotations of some authority (as opposed to authoritative) is because my parents would always say that I need to respect them (and anyone else who holds a particular position). Thus I have been differentiating that word when used usually in a real world setting from regard. But perhaps this takes a further looking into as I noticed in one of my previous posts way back that I had a habit of being a ‘victim’. I’ve taken on board that I need to ‘respect’ people but this means in a sort of psychic submission type of way. And also backed (originally from my parents) that if I don’t then I do not “care” and I will be physically punished. This way of operating demonstrates a complete lack of equity. And equally would not be a way to bring it about. At the core of this is the belief that I need to psychically submit or else people will get angry (sounds very silly and feels embarrassing when I write it out).

I noticed in the From Basic Actual Freedom to Full Actual Freedom Part 1 correspondence that you wrote:

Remember that ‘you’, the guardian, have a general backward outlook who one regards automatically, as in habitually, as a (non-expertise-related) authority, when, in fact, they don’t have any more authority than one is willing to give them. And ‘your’ choice to give certain people an unearned aura of authority has a lot to do with expected social rewards and punishment. One can then decide in each situation if this is worth one’s voluntary submission. The more one simplify/ reduces one’s need/ attraction for the perceived social rewards and thus anticipated ‘punishment’ of withheld ‘reward’, the less one wills find getting drawn into power conflicts with supposed (guardian-created) authority figures.

Would you say this course of action only applies if you are basically free?

I also noticed in the same correspondence Richard writes:

Richard: … this ‘battle of the sexes’ need no longer hold sway if the need for power is seen at its source

I have been wondering if what I experience is an example of a “need for power” or if that need is something else.