Chrono: Hi Vineeto,
As always, I greatly appreciate your responses and participation .
Vineeto: Thank you for your extensive reflections. The way you phrased the last sentence it looks as if naiveté, though being the least attractive option for ‘me’, is nevertheless the only way to achieve a more continuous feeling good?
Chrono: I phrased it that way because I unknowingly had the emotional investment in the other options such as love as a way to achieve fulfillment or continuous feeling good. It’s only through seeing its limitations through seeing the light and dark sides of it that only one path remains open so to speak. Also because I have not gone deep enough into naiveté for it to become ‘my’ path. I can see how this path even to being naiveté is different to what everyone in the world does.
Hi Chrono,
You are very welcome.
I’m pleased to hear you recognized the dark side of love and no longer consider it an option “to achieve fulfillment”.
Of course “this path even to being naiveté is different to what everyone in the world does” – the actual world is outside of ‘me’ and everyone in the world is busy being ‘me’.
Before you contemplate ‘being naiveté’ or going “deep”, or “planning of naiveté being ‘your’ “path”, it is not. It is the path of self-less inclination, hence ‘you’ won’t have much of a role to play apart from objecting. 
Why not start being naïve, in little steps. First it feels a bit uncomfortable, foolish or insecure (like a teenager first talking to a girl for instance). Then you dare extending this modus operandi a bit longer, expand into other areas of life – and you find it feels good, light, different, felicitous. You do it at your own pace, of course, don’t even think of pushing yourself, perhaps remember how you were as a kid (but now with adult sensibilities) and … enjoy it. You might find other people respond, like it, even become more friendly (naiveté is infectious).
Allowing yourself to be naive is indeed different to what serious sophisticated people in the world do – but who cares. Being naïve, you like yourself and simultaneously like others. It feels good, it is harmless and it’s infectious. Appreciate your small steps, then bigger steps, in this new way of living. It gives you confidence. It is intimate and invites naïve intimacy with fellow human beings. Being naïve includes not knowing what you are going to do next, or say next, being spontaneously happy and harmless. The less you pay attention to any self-image or pride, the easier it becomes. Putting everything on a ‘it doesn’t matter’ basis allows you to be less ‘self’-oriented and more open to the adventure of what being here actually is.
It’s fun.
Chrono: So I am now trying to rememorate all of the times and experiences of being naiveté in my life.
I particularly enjoyed reading “A Rather Quaint Clay-Pit Tale” and the description and experience of being naiveté.
Don’t “try”, don’t ‘work’ on it – just allow the hidden-away-during-puberty childhood naïveté to bubble up.
Richard: And as ‘he’ stood there, delightedly extolling the virtues of being naiveté itself, ‘he’ enthusiastically encouraged ‘his’ rapt audience to reach down inside of themselves intuitively (a.k.a. feeling it out) going past the rather superficial emotions and/or feelings (generally in the chest area) into the deeper, more profound passions and/or feelings (generally in the solar plexus area) until they came to a place (generally about four-finger widths below the navel) where they intuitively feel they elementarily have existence as a feeling being (as in ‘me’, at the core of ‘my’ being, which is ‘being’ itself), and, having located ‘being’ itself, gently and tenderly sense out the area immediately below that (just above and/or just before and almost touching on the sex centre) where they would find themselves both likeable and liking (for here lies sincerity and/or naiveté) and here is where they can, finally, like themself (very important) no matter what, for here is the nearest a ‘self’ can get to innocence whilst remaining a ‘self’, and, moreover, here lies tenderness and/or sweetness and togetherness and/or closeness because here is where it is possible to be the key which unlocks the potency of naiveté.
Chrono: I am wondering what are your thoughts on this:
It’s a wonderful and inspiring story; perhaps if you not use it as a serious sophisticated script but start by being sincere and naïve you’ll have more fun than trying to be naiveté right away.
Chrono: What was your experience of this as an identity? Is it something that you can just do anytime or only at a certain point?
It only requires lots of enjoyment and appreciation, so much so that letting go of the controls is inevitable.
It was a great time – naiveté fully bloomed when I was out-from-control (being naiveté and being out-from-control is in fact one and the same thing). There was no fear after I decided to pull out all the stops.
There are several descriptions of this time of my life on the website, here is one –
Vineeto: It happened around end of November/ beginning of December 2009. Richard showed me and Peter a short video where a young woman was filming herself having pleasuring herself with unabashed delight. It was obvious that she was entirely unselfconscious, not acting, not pretending, but simply having a great time. Hers was a genuinely naïve enjoyment and celebration of her sexuality, an unbridled and uninhibited sensuality and sensuosity. ‘Vineeto’ was impressed, and at the end of the video ‘she’ said “if she can do it I can do it”.
You’ll have to remember that two weeks before Richard had impressed up ‘her’ to come out-from-control. (Richard, List D, No. 25, 6 Feb 2012). So ‘Peter’ and ‘Vineeto’ went to the bedroom, and with such naïve demonstration it was indeed easy to imitate and replicate the naïve unbridled enjoyment of sexuality and sensuality. That’s how ‘Vineeto’ lost ‘her’ own inhibitions.
When Respondent No. 4(D) met us [Peter, Pamela, Tom, Richard and myself] on 5th December 2009, ‘Vineeto’ finally noticed the change in ‘herself’ and happily whispered to Richard “psst, I am out-from-control” –
‘Vineeto’: The other observation from this period of being out-from-control worth sharing, I was able to make when ‘No. 4(D)’ came for a visit. I remember clearly one day sitting in a circle of 5 friends, utterly relaxed despite the fact that I had never met one of them in person, and I noticed that I had no personal agenda whatsoever, no plan to stir the conversation into a particular direction, nothing to emphasize or hide, no self-centredness or favouritism, no shame, shyness, embarrassment, no power or drive – I was just being myself as I was. I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting. I experienced myself as being unreservedly at ease and utterly benign and wasn’t driven to say anything unless it contributed to the overall quality of the conversation. (Direct Route, James, 16 Jan 2010).
Funnily enough, I completely forgot the event which had set it all in motion and allowed me to traverse the ‘wall of fear’ without noticing what ‘I’ had done, so to speak. Obviously, my social-conditioned mind still had come to terms with the newly discovered reality. It was months later when Richard reminded me of the ‘fear-shattering’ event. It’s quite a laugh! (Actualvineeto, Ian, 9 Jun 2025)
Vineeto: Yes, there is a tangible dare “to have a genuine intent to be happy and harmless”. Hence unless you genuinely enjoy being happy and harmless for its own sake you won’t care to dare leaving the ties behind that so (comfortably and uncomfortably) bind you. When pure intent is active, there are no worries of being “callous” or “uncaring”.
Chrono: I am getting a flavor of naiveté now as I’m typing and reflecting. Similar to my previous experience in the journal of allowing myself to meet people where they are [13 Oct 25]. And this particular part in the above clay-pit tale quote very much sticks out and serves as a direction for me:
Richard: …both likeable and liking (for here lies sincerity and/or naiveté) and here is where they can, finally, like themself (very important) no matter what…
Indeed, when you are genuine, sincere in your aim to imitate the actual as much as possible, being naïve comes easy and with it fall away the self-deprecating feelings that have dominated your daily life. It is such a relief to finally be able to like yourself no matter what, and hence like others.
Chrono: I can see in that direction that there are no worries of being callous or uncaring as both others and myself are easily in consideration and regard. As I’m thinking on this I find that another one of my worries is something like “how can I like others when they are being ‘bad’?” And I found a ready answer as I feel myself likeable then others can also be likeable irregardless of the antics they get up to.
Exactly.
Chrono: I find then a subsequent objection that reads like “I can be more easily hurt the more naïve that I am” but here in this place where I am already likeable, I don’t think it could be possible to be hurt. But it does highlight the belief in me of how that to be naïve is to be “unknowing” or “unaware”.
Well, it is still possible to be hurt because you might still have unexamined issues, but that is the challenge and opportunity to clean yourself up. The main fear, as you said, is that you don’t know what will be happening – being naïve you would more likely welcome the adventure rather than fear it.
Chrono: As a follow up to that, I am realizing that it’s a very viable alternative to love. I am allowing this to “soak in”. It relates to caring in which I can only sum up currently as love is dishonest in that it does not truly regard the other (because it’s mainly about ‘me’), while naiveté does.
Are you making a spreadsheet for all the pros and cons before you start living it? And who is in charge of making the assessment? ‘Me’ and ‘my’ desires and fears or pure intent? Armchair planning gets you nowhere – dare, and care to dare, and just do it.
Vineeto: I talked to Andrew about guilt recently (link), perhaps you have read it. Additionally to the original guilt of being an instinctual ‘being’ there is the social conditioning regarding sexuality in almost all societies, because man-woman sexuality is the genesis of family and thus the very core of civilisation itself and therefore strictly regulated almost everywhere, not only via laws but also “guilt and shame”. It is possible to unravel this social conditioning when pure intent is firmly in place.
As for the second aspect of the “feeling of guilt” because “you are disregarding your partner” – when you deliberate shift your focus of interest from personal sexual satisfaction only to intimacy, the whole nature of sexual congress will change in the direction of including your partner, as a fellow play-mate, in the direct (bodily) intimacy of sexual congress.
Chrono: Yes I hadn’t considered that the root of the feeling of guilt came instinctually. I will have to make this deliberate shift and start from there.
Ah, another “I will have to”. But you can voluntarily make a shift because intimacy is such a delicious happening to explore. Actualism is not like learning or training for an exam like in the real world – if it’s not fun and being friendly with yourself, don’t even consider it.
Vineeto: Well, of course if you start with the top-most grade, so to speak, and want ‘magical sex’ right away without exploring and getting accustomed to the preceding stages of Grace’s gradation scale (link) first, you have a good excuse for being resentful and not even start. Besides –
Richard: Put succinctly, this intimity, this most intimate of intimacies, has been beyond the ken of humankind since forever! [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List D, No. 46, 7 Feb 2016).
Chrono: I think as far as sex goes the best I’ve had from the gradations of intimacy is “good sex”, but now I can make a deliberate aim towards experiencing the full gradations.
You can probe and experiment and enjoy the whole way. Again, there is no exam to pass at the end and no medals to collect.
Vineeto: Which means it [intimity] is never talked about and hence entirely new to human history. It’s time someone puts it into practice and brings delicious intimacy into “the ken of humankind”. The more you allow yourself to be naïve the easier you have access to the near-innocent intimacy of naïveté.
Chrono: And that someone will be me!
Marvellous.
Vineeto: Yes, there is a consciousness, the sentience of this flesh-and-blood body, naturally. It is not “its own consciousness” because you are this flesh-and-blood body, it is your own consciousness. The identity only hijacks this marvellous capacity and blights it with passions and emotions, distortions and problems. Hence the suggestion to get back to feeling good before you begin to sort out any triggers to your diminishment of enjoyment and appreciation. A flesh and blood body entirely “independent of ‘me’” operates apperceptively and is capable of great clarity.
Chrono: I have been wondering, is it possible for this awareness of being a flesh and blood body to also be there as a feeling being? Could it be a connection between ‘me’ and the actual? The reason I ask is because I do always have this inkling that I’m here this whole time all the time.
Yes, it is possible, mainly from lingering memories of your various PCEs and moments of apperceptiveness. The “awareness of being a flesh and blood body” can peek through, especially when no good or bad feelings interfere with your enjoyment and appreciation of being here. But this does not mean that there is a “connection between ‘me’ and the actual”.
Vineeto: You can give them respect as fellow human beings just as you can give this respect to yourself. With increased awareness how you feel each moment the upcoming problems are easily dealt with, without you having to act out any of the emotions which arise. A perfect example of the actualism in practice.
Chrono: The word “respect” for me has always had a connotation of some authority involvement backed by punishment and reward. It seems to translate into “stay in line”. Could “regard” perhaps be a synonym instead for it in this context of seeing them as a fellow human being? (link)
The word “respect” comes from the Latin respectus, meaning “a looking at” or “regard”, and the verb respicere, “to look back at”. (Respect - Etymology, Origin & Meaning).
Development of meaning: From this original sense, the meaning evolved to include “regard”, “esteem”, and “consideration”. (Merriam Webster)
As you can see the word has a perfectly neutral origin, it’s time that the meaning again expands from having “a connotation of some authority” only. I like both words.
As for authority, that is a different issue for another conversation. For now, if you are interested, I recommend the selected correspondences found on the library page regarding authority and the section on authority in the Basic to Full Freedom article.
Cheers Vineeto