Bub, will be direct here if you don’t mind in order to get straight to the point.
In a spiritual or enlightenment paradigm – at least Neo-Advaitic flavoured ones, one ‘sees through’ the illusion of a separate self, a doer – permanently. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Ta-dah you’re done. The actualist way is to see this as a fundamental error. A sleight of hand that does not acknowledge the felt being that you know you are, which remains regardless of whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.
Doer and Beer are used a little differently in actualism than in spiritual and new age circles: Social Identity; Social Mores
The ego-self (an emotional/passional-mental construct) who arises out of the instinctual-self (an inchoate affective ‘being’/amorphous ‘presence’ the instinctual passions automatically form themselves into) somewhere around age two as the doer of the affective experience of what is happening – as opposed to the beer of the affective experience of what is happening …
Doer = ego, thinker (but with some emotional elements)
Beer = soul, feeler, feeling being - that which you feel oneself to be
Usually these two things are quite merged, but you’ll eventually see the difference. This happens most clearly when you have EE’s. And when you go in and out of PCE’s.
The reason it’s hard to get rid of the Doer is because it is a reality. A thought/felt reality rather than actual one, but very real nevertheless, with tremendous power over you.
You may need to accept that this ‘no doer’ ‘no free will’ ‘life living itself’ thing may just be more spiritual bypassing – or at least the exact way you are conceiving it now. That’s a big ask I know, but this is the ‘emptying’ I was recommending in my earlier post. I think its pretty much the only way to avoid getting stuck.
Above, may go some way into explaining why you are conflicted and neuroticize i.e. trying to dismiss a ‘delusion’ that is your lived reality.
The present moment doesn’t need to be accepted. It is all there is. It’s either experienced as such or not. It can be experienced sensately in a PCE with the absence of feeling. That’s different from the present moment as a concept, as a recommendation for spiritual health, a new-age endorsement etc. I know I’m being a bit hard here, but it was something that I was stuck on for quite a while and I’d rather you not make the same mistake. The ‘present moment’ like the word ‘love’ has been invested with a lot of beliefs and values. This is not to say that you don’t genuinely have experiences where you are in or close to the present moment on occasion. Strictly speaking though this does not happen until one is in a PCE, so there’s a hard boundary there. Also you didn’t say this but ‘being in the present moment’ is an oxymoron - see if you can work that one out!
http://actualfreedom.com.au/actualism/vineeto/selected-correspondence/corr-time.htm
With the actualism method, you would examine obstacles to happiness and investigate them thoroughly to a point where clarity will emerge. If its still happening then stones still have yet to be turned. This can be a fascinating and fun process if you leave yourself open to non-premeditated answers. How that fits or doesn’t fit with Wu Wei I’m not too sure.