Hi Bub,
In the interest of “Keep going” I wanted to let you know that your “address whats not making you feel good” is not what the actualism method is, viz.:
Although actualism is indeed about addressing whats not making you feel good, the way of addressing it that you’re talking about is nothing other than the usual, normal, well-adjusted adult, regular way of dealing with everyday problems in life, i.e. taking steps to cause the world around you to change such that the world is no longer arranged in the way it was when you felt bad about it:
And from the other thread:
That is, the problems you’re identifying are ‘problems’ with the world itself, how it is currently arranged, and your solutions consist of either changing the world when the ‘problem’ arises, or setting up a system in place so that the world doesn’t change in the ‘problematic’ way in the first place… to the point of making lists to try to pre-empt future ‘problems’ so that the world is never arranged in a way that you feel bad about. In other words, you’re talking about conditional enjoyment.
In essence ‘you’ are running the show, ‘you’ are letting ‘your’ feelings be the arbiter of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, how things should be and what is ‘good’ and what is ‘problematic’, etc. Not only that, but you could argue (and many do) that ‘you’ are necessary to exist, in this case, because ‘your’ feelings let you know that there is a problem, and without them, you wouldn’t be able to function properly.
While in stark contrast, the actualism method is about enjoying and appreciating being alive in the world as-it-is with people as-they-are, i.e. without changing anything about the world… in other words, a (relatively) unconditional enjoyment.
e.g.:
and:
From the PCE you see, as a matter of direct experience, that it is factually and undeniable true that the universe is already perfect as-it-is, without anything possibly taking away from this perfection. As such the world does not need to change in order for this perfection to permeate. No matter what state the world is in, what (conditional) arrangement of the matter and particles and humans and things in it – it is already all perfect. Who am ‘I’ to say that something is wrong with the way things are? It is akin to saying that water is ‘wrong’ for flowing downstream.
‘Me’ feeling bad is essentially this - an objection to the way things are. As such the solution with actualism isn’t to change the way things are (from one equally perfect arrangement to another) such as to appease ‘my’ objections. Rather it’s about removing ‘my’ objections to things being the way they are. This is the only possible way to successfully continuously (i.e. (relatively) unconditionally) enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive, otherwise there will always be endless objections and changing things to appease ‘me’. The problem is ‘me’, not the universe.
There are a few really important caveats here:
-
Firstly it is far, far, way better and healthier to live life in the well-adjusted way you’re advocating here, which is that when you think there’s a problem, actually do something about it instead of ignoring it or moping or escaping or what-not.
Indeed this same spirit is applied in actualism – there is indeed a problem and it does indeed need resolving. It’s just that in the normal way, the problem is the universe and the solution is changing the universe, while in the actualist way, the problem is ‘me’ and the solution is changing ‘me’.
-
By no means take this as an endorsement of going back to a spiritual by-passing route of not doing anything about the conditional problems in your life! Although actualism per se isn’t about changing the world, it’s also not about not changing the world. What do I mean?
Basically the point is that whether you change the world or not, can ultimately be independent of how you feel about it. The point is to feel good regardless of what is happening – but, given that you are feeling good, what do you do now?
To use your example: say I’m feeling good now, but I got a red letter about an unpaid parking fine even though I thought I paid it. It’s better if I pay the parking fine now – even though I feel good whether it’s paid or not. Because it will be a bigger fine later or might escalate even more. So it’s sensible to pay it now, and to remind myself in the future to check that I pay it in the first place to avoid larger fines. The point is just that it’s silly to feel bad about the parking fine not being paid, and silly to continue to feel bad until the system to remind myself about fines. It is better to feel good throughout – and indeed, no ultimate reason not to.
That being said, given you’re feeling good all the time, you might indeed have different priorities of what you need doing or not. But that’ll be up to you to determine on a case-by-case basis as you change your way of being in the world.
-
And if you’re not feeling good, and can’t get back to feeling good, and you have an obvious problem in your life… it’s indeed silly not to do something about it. If you are conditionally upset about something but you can set up your circumstances to actually fix that conditional problem, then there’s no reason not to. Indeed it’s silly to ignore problems like this, and very healthy to fix it. Just keep in mind that it isn’t the actualism method per se to do it.
The basic point is to not let ‘your’ feelings run the show of what decisions to make. The idea is to move away from it feels ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ or it feels ‘good’ or ‘bad’, towards – what is sensible, and what is silly? Use cognition, intelligence, etc., to assess the situation, and determine the best outcome, by all means… you will just come to see that feelings don’t do anything but make this assessment more difficult.
That being said I find it most helpful not to think of this as an ideal to 100% strive for right off the bat, but a relative thing of, how can I do slightly better than where I’m at now? If I’m feeling bad… it’s slightly better to feel neutral instead, even if I can’t feel good. If feeling anxious is affecting my decisions… maybe I can feel slightly less anxious, or set it aside to think about it later, or come up with a way of reasoning that isn’t so affected by anxiety, etc…
Also I want to commend you on recognizing this! Indeed from your first posts you were presenting a persona of someone who doesn’t have almost any problems, and just a tiny amount that maybe needs some touching up or what-not. It is a big step to more accurately assess yourself and your life. Sincerity is vitally crucial for success with actualism.
Cheers,
Claudiu