Andrew

Journals
906

I came across this excellent quote from Richard yesterday, I’ve been overhauling how I see people lately too!

"…my posts are written in appreciative response to a fellow human being who is spending the most precious gifts they have – their time and sincerity – to communicate with me about the sense they have made, so far, of life, the universe and what it is to be a human being living in the world as it is with people as they are. To put it another way: I always value another human being simply for daring to be here on this fair earth – and therefore actively doing this living business – irregardless of where they are coming from.

Ain’t life grand!"

So unconditional! I’ve been making the mistake for a few years now of only liking people that agree with me, and since I’ve been an an extremely eccentric path that is practically no one! Whereas I can remember being much younger and just liking everyone that came my way, not expecting much from them either. Just a naive curiosity to see what they’re about.

2 Likes
907

I tried Richard’s way but it doesn’t quite work for this one :thinking::laughing:

908

They really believed it was important. How can you fault that?

Don’t you also feel something is important?

Ignoring of course the 1500 kilos of metal they are controlling whilst doing what they feel is important.

1 Like
909

Indeed, if we want to like ourselves, we must see beyond the wars and the heiness crimes.

Everyone was a baby once. A child.

Did you ever have dream that you could do whatever you like?

Some just don’t have a great starting points. Their dreams involve cutting you off in traffic.

The big guy at the gym. Dreams of being bigger. It’s all he has. What do those with power want? More power.

Another dream. Another dreamer.

What is your dream?

1 Like
910

I remember watching the cursor blink when I was being dumped.

I long poem later, I was not dumped anymore.

Have you ever watched the cursor blink?

|

|

Do it.

Sit and watch it.

What are you going to say?

Most say nothing. Just take the hit and sculk back to what ever.

There was a little kid once, who, unlike you, dreamed something big. Now, what are you but a lesson unlearned?

He/She was right.

School sucked.

Learning the hard way was the default.

Not anymore.

There is an easy way.

It only takes one moment of being who you really are; that kid.
.

911

I am, around 3000 years old.

That’s it.

As a being, I have been it all. Everything except the Identity needed to end this charade.

That is coming soon.

Needless to say, but I will say it anyway; trip 7 went well enough.

912

3.55 grams dried.

4 or so hours later, 16.35 grams fresh.

913

There is a version of me that is going to do this.

Watches cursor blink…|. |. |

914

@Kub933 I do think this is the key

A huge proportion of the inquiries Richard was responding to were very skeptical if not outright hostile, but he still had this attitude toward them. He saw that they were doing the best they could at wrangling life, and for a human after all life is quite difficult.

People do all kinds of downright ridiculous & ridiculously cruel & stupid things. But it’s all born of the self… the same thing motivating us to try and become free. So for that person cutting someone off in traffic, in that moment, it does indeed somehow feel important to do that. Perhaps they have an aggressive attitude, that they must win at all costs, including in traffic. Perhaps they’re so far gone that they’re operating in a fog, not really cognizant that the others they’re driving near are living, breathing humans with fragile bodies. I know it sounds strange, but there is a purity in the fact that everyone is operating in the way they are, to the best of their capabilities given their specific upbringings, genetics, and whatever events have led them to be hurtling in the specific way they happen to be hurtling that day.

I had an experience of startling benevolence the other week, and what stood out about it was its completeness. It’s for everyone, not just the nice people, not just the actualists, not just those that are ‘spiritually developed enough.’ Everyone. And it equally extended to myself - how much of what is keeping us from being free is the same normal hostility being directed towards ourselves when we don’t perform to our own standards? Speaking for myself, I am near constantly niggling & nitpicking at myself in the exact same way that I’ve found myself criticizing & complaining about past partners, family members, and random members of the public I see crossing the parking lot of the grocery store.

My hostility is the same whether it’s directed inward or outward, or directs at someone that ‘deserves it’ or not. And it’s unnecessary, a cruel & bloody spur where simple awareness does the job.

1 Like
915

Ура, к полному наслаждению жизнью

916

It’s quite a discovery to realise just how adept Richard is dealing with the psychic realm generated by these bodies.

Every moment one is “tripping” on ‘oneself’.

So familiar we are with this reality that is is completely normal to the vast majority.

We are all, when not free, tripping balls.

I probably won’t be documenting any of my psychedelic experiences anymore. Mostly because of what I saw in the first couple.

Is one, just going to “report back” or actually going to go through with what is seen?

Mushrooms are therapy. If one let’s it take place. There is no better guidance than Richard on that journey.

I reflect on meeting him. He was dealing with someone so deeply embedded in the human condition that he himself said “he had never met someone like me”. What a scary and disheartening statement!

He was talking about the particular mix of extreme religious conditioning, my own particular mix of traits and personality. I suppose the same could be said of anyone.

However, now that I am graduating from novice psychonaut to an elementary one, it’s absolutely fantastic that Richard had it in himself to write everything he has. Of course, I can thank Peter and Vineeto for their years of optimism and work. Without it, who knows if we would have ever heard of Actual Freedom!?

917

16780200995793943670190261695227
167802009957939436701902616952271920×2560 374 KB

From the Ballina rain soaked pages of the most important book ever published.

1 Like
918

There will come a day when both the identity and the actual body joyously and simultaneously, enjoy this very moment of being alive. For one, it will be the fitting end of a journey, for the other the actualisation of one’s birthright.

919

How’d you get this printed

920

I didn’t, I bought it a long time ago. One of the last ones I think.

921

Title: Uncovering a urge to morally correct my ex.

TLDR; Reoccurring imaginary conversation has ceased by noticing that it was a social identity belief that I must correct people who have done “wrong”.

Long form;

So I broke up around a year ago, and had had this reoccurring imaginary conversation which went like this; she breaks up with her new boyfriend, for reasons similar to why we didn’t work out, and contacts me, but because she did what she did with me, and I will have to explain why we can’t be together.

However, no matter what I tried, I could really get rid of the reoccurring imaginary conversation.

I thought I was hung up, but I really had worked through the issues there, I thought I wanted revenge, but again, it didn’t really ring a bell.

Was I just as Lewis Capaldi sings “not ready to find out you know how to forget me?”.

Hmm, nothing really seemed to stick. Again and again, this daydreaming would be there.

So, it was really curious. Looking at the feeling, it wasn’t angry. It was sorta this aversion to something I anticipated happening (her contacting me) but there was no reason that I really want that.

Then looking at the options, I started to think, and run scenarios.
What if I contacted her to talk about the issue?
Maybe I am being mean by not talking about it.
Somehow I am holding on to her failing again just to prove myself “Right”. Maybe I am sabotaging her happiness by not telling her what “I know”. That last one really rang a bell.

That really did the trick, as the feeling was a compulsive one that it was my duty to inform/instruct. Then it was obvious; my identity is heavily conditioned to “spread the word” to in more personal terms endorce “moralistic beliefs”. That I really am responsible to inform, correct others.

Which, I don’t think I would have seen if a few weeks back I had shed my former persona of the “prophet with the bad news” type.

It was my belief in both the moral “Right and Wrong” of our relationship, but more personally the belief that I am someone who must correct others. And in not doing so I was being “mean”.

This has opened up a whole new realm of potential freedom.

The facts are, there was no actual harm in anything either of us did. There is no reason she wouldn’t have already discovered something new with her current boyfriend, or that issue hasn’t arisen anyway, but most significantly, I am not in anyway responsible to correct or inform, or otherwise insist on anyone else “looking into” anything. Further, the morals were self serving and ultimately no more “right” than what she obviously believed.

Really refreshing to have seen a more subtle issue, and have felt the instant relief, and the encouragement that this same change of my character is going to be very useful in a lot of other scenarios.

5 Likes
922

Ok.

I nearly died. I don’t know what to say. I just tripped so hard that breaking my collarbone last year was a walk in the park.

Umm. There is good reason that psychedelic mushrooms are illegal.

Had I not been a thousand versions of me which could still remember that such a thing as “pure intent” exists, it would all be over right now.
This post would not have happened.

I have displayed WAY too much rancour against those who have gone before.

It wasn’t even a really big dose. 3.5g dried.

I was insane, derealised, and only just made it. All in 3 hours.

That is something that I would highly recommend NOT doing.

923

It wasn’t a “bad” trip.

It was THE bad trip.

The one that kills people. Starts wars.

That guy.

There was a point, I was checking for blood out the window. Hoping that I had indeed stayed inside.

There was a point that I didn’t know what decade it was. I wasn’t sure if I had killed people or not. I just had no way of knowing if I had left the house.

The only thing that “saved” me is that I don’t get scared easily. I saved being terrified for now.

924

I really don’t scare easily.

I am exaggerating to say I am scared or terrified now.

It’s not even a feeling.

Spoke with a mate for a hour just to get my normal reality back.

DO NOT GO THERE.

The person I was was LAUGHING at my normal self. That he, me, would forget so easily.

I had definitely been there before. More times than I should be able to recall.

Why do I forget him???

He really was sure that it wasn’t worth trying to warn me; he had a million times. I never listened.

925

I really don’t want to be this guy anymore.

I can’t go where Richard went, not like this. There is no way I am able to get there.

I don’t want to be this extreme guy who nearly kills himself each year.

I just want to be normal
…

Is there such a thing?