Some who have talked with me on the phone or video, will know I am just a normal guy. I want to like you, and I want be liked. Very normal. I have always maintained that evangelist type of enthusiasm for making something meaningful in conversations, and try as I can to be accommodating.. Obviously, I am looking for my own meaning, my own position in that exchange. However, I appreciate that both are doing the same.
I appreciate the people here, and a few I I talked with elsewhere, that seek a solution to the suffering the world, if not only their own suffering.
So, if I can frame this as just “having a chat”, instead of what it actually is, a public declaration,( this is searchable public post, and not a private conversation), if I could for the sake of what I am going to type, pretend mutually that it’s a “safe space “ (which it is not) then, we can read what I am about to write as if tomorrow neither of us will remember it, because we usually have conversations to be heard and to connect, rather that leave with a dossier on “he said this, and thus…I am on his side, or the other side.”
Preamble out of the way, here is the central thought:
This iteration of the universe sucks.
I really felt genuinely whole saying and thinking this today.
A few who know me from before the 2015 trip (which I skipped ) will potentially remember how obsessed I am about the words “infinite “ and “eternal “. A long time before Actualism, these were the two words that shaped my core ideas.
It dawned on me today that this is not the ultimate form of the universe. There is no ultimate form.. (This is not a declaration, imagination is key here; we are just chatting) . There is, by definition of “infinite “ and “eternal “ no ultimate form.
I felt whole just saying out loud, this universe (this manifestation of infinite and eternal existence) sucks.
I pushed back at Vineeto about the statement “what I can eat, and what could eat me”. I understand the reference, but found it absurd. I know I can kill and eat chickens. Fish. Give me a sharp stick, and I can have a go at rabbits, sheep, all sorts of creatures. I can kill them and eat them.
Yesterday, as I thought about this, I felt completely “whole” when I said out loud “that sucks”.
So, what is the point?
It’s the infinitude! The infinitude is what is fundamentally enjoyable. This particular express of the infinitude does suck. But, the infinitude itself, the fundamental and essential existence of existence, is essentially what Richard called “pure intent”. Something fundamentally beyond the fact that the “red in tooth and claw” “dog eat dog” “what can I eat and what can eat me” circle of “life” in this out folding of infinite possibilities, is enjoyable. It is able to be experienced perfectly. Even though this current universe requires me to eat other living things, the infinitude itself, is not “tied to” this way of existence. It is existence. It is infinite and eternal existence.
Now, so this post has some depth, rather than me (in typical fashion) fill in the gaps in my own head, assuming everyone else is in my head, let me spell it out;
I will die, this is the only life that I will ever have. This universe does suck, it suck a lot! But, the infinitude itself, is enjoyable.
DNA, Stars, the entire brutality of 4 kelvin being the temperature of the measurable universe, the absence of life in general, and the brutality of the life we know; it’s just one of an infinite potential ways the infinitude can exist.
We already know this. We can already imagine a far better way of existing. I could rattle of a handful of ways this universe could be better. I would have to limit myself to a handful.
What is the point? This brutal existence, with creatures eating each other, is just another of the infinite ways the universe can …universe.
We get the opportunity to free ourselves in this moment, from the very simple and apparent fact this example of the universe, sucks.