That naïveté was buried long before puberty. Which has been the issue. I dare say, the issue for many. I have vivid memories of the sexual confusion that abuse creates even at 4 and 5 years old. Some of my earliest memories are twisted sexual dreams.
Let’s say naïveté was already on the ropes a long time before hormones got a hold of me.
What my walk really started to solidify is just how subtle shame is. I always had this deep guilt that my life wasn’t bad enough to feel bad about. Even after everything, burying my daughter, losing my first brother, my father, I was always in my own estimation pathetic and not worthy of anyone’s consideration. However, there was always that other side of human nature which would lash out for attention.
Back to the topic, shame is so very subtle. All the ways I consider people slipping into self condemnation, even at subtle levels. The whole “sorry for taking up space”.