Continuing the discussion from Torch bearer:
I started responding to @Kub933 in another thread and got the zoomies. The following begins as legitimate discussion and degrades into a fanciful story that is off with the faeries in actualist lingo. I’m making this clear so no one believes I’m serious.
I often contemplate the fact of mortality as a key ingredient to understanding the full worth of this moment of being alive. When I was an immortal christian soul inhabiting a mortal body it really made it hard to have fun here “knowing” there was somewhere else better to be.
Could you imagine being an immortal body on planet earth? What would happen if the other mortal humans decided to lock you in a chest and throw you in the ocean? Or if you became trapped somewhere?
With that in mind, it seems good that the body dies in the absence of nutrition, because I wouldn’t want to be stuck at the bottom of a well for all eternity. I’d be stuck down there until the sun exploded, and THEN I’d be floating through space. I’d probably land on an uninhabitable planet and will just have to chill there until ITS sun explodes. And then the cycle repeats until I can eventually arrive at a planet with some sort of human civilization. Naturally, it’s not long until I get thrown down the well again and the whole entire cycle repeats itself. In such a case, dissociating from one’s body is absolutely necessary to pass the time until the next inhabitable planet.
The upside is that I got to see a lot of cool stuff happen, most of which I’ve forgotten. But I was at the Civil War in America, that was really cool. I would run around on the field naked while they were battling. I got this idea from a soccer (futbol) game clip I saw on TikTok. I would run through naked and yell, “Goooooaaaaaaaaaal.” No one understood the joke at all. It was pathetic, truly. It wasn’t long until a bullet knocked me unconsciousness and I found myself in a mass grave I couldn’t get out of. It sounds bad, but you eventually get used to how grisly things can get. Also, you can always dissociate and pass the time having an eternal orgasm until a young Indian person splashes water onto your face in the middle of a field. WHY do I always land in India???
It’s not ideal having an immortal physical body. There, I said it. Of course, if I could have a celestial body that could interact with the “material” world whenever it wanted, and fly around with cherub wings, while I cure the sick and take care of all mortal life, that’d be cool. I would be the good spiritual force guiding humanity after my mortal body dies. I bet I’ll have to face bad spiritual forces on the eternal battlefield - which also sounds really fun because neither side can die. It’s just this never ending spiritual battle and humanity is stuck in the middle. I’m on the good side of course, until I enter into my villain era. I’ll eventually turn back to the good side after I see the shortcomings of evil. (Also, celestial sex isn’t as fun when you’re bad. It’s more fun when you’re good and pretending to do something bad).
If Richard is incorrect about his assessment of life here on planet earth, I believe that this is the most likely situation we currently find ourselves in. I for one will be asking for repentance so as to ensure my admission to the “good” team. This is a loop-hole and a lot easier than trying to change myself in any meaningful way. It’s a great strategy because you don’t have to try too hard.
One strategy I threw out in a recent “good” team strategy session (with GOD himself), was that to get more ‘good’ souls we need to reproduce and die quicker. That way we get more souls on the ‘good’ team guiding humanity. God passed the message along to the earthly Pope. Later, he invited me into his office and we drank whiskey and smoked cigars during the work day.
The strategy has been massively successful because we’ve found a way to ensure it’s success: baptism. With this simple, yet brilliant spiritual technology, we found a way to ensure that a soul arrives on the ‘good’ team 100% of the time. How you do it is simple. A Priest or anyone calls up an angel like me. I show up, and we splash water on the person, usually a baby. You want to do it asap because you never know when they might die. But we’ll take anyone, no matter their age, race, gender, or sexuality. We’re freaky!!!
With this new spiritual technology, one no longer needs to repent. But we still like to do it anyway because it’s annoying when people don’t. We also like to circumcise mortal men because it looks better when they become celestial bodies (we don’t need clothing since we all look hot).
The trouble we find ourselves having is that sometimes the ‘good’ souls turn ‘bad’ and do not return to the ‘good’ team for a very long time. That means, even though we have increased the amount of souls arriving on the “good” team, it doesn’t guarantee they will stay. However, we are confident they will return to our team at some point, after all, eternity guarantees it will happen eventually. (We don’t die)
Suffice to say, we find the spiritual battle to be almost always balanced at a 50/50 good vs evil split, only ever deviating approximately 2% no matter what happens on planet earth. And we are becoming worried because humanity appears to be self-destructing at a more and more rapid pace. Our concern is that without them, there will be no-one to guide. And without anyone to guide, both the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ team will have nothing to fight about.
We will certainly not fight for the sake of fighting, it is too hard to determine teams that way, and we found it so chaotic as to not be fun at all. We tried it. It doesn’t work. We let humanity do their thing for a while and it was so boring. We just fought for the sake of fighting and a good percentage of us got bored quickly while the rest took advantage of that. Some of us thought it would be a good thing to just do it for the sake of it and leave humanity out of it as we were clearly influencing their trajectory and we couldn’t tell if it was for better or worse. They DID begin in a Garden of Eden after all, and for all of human history we’ve been trying to get back to that. So we paused trying to guide them, and figured we’d just fight for the fun of it. Turns out that was wrong, the guiding adds some stakes to the game that makes it fun.
One thing to note again is that we can’t die, but we can inflict psychic pain on each other. Since we’re spiritual creatures, we just pass right through everything. Both material things and spiritual things. (Once released from the shackles of a mortal physical body of course). All we can do is cuss at each other, and say really personal things to one another.
The “good” team has spies in the “bad” team who are always searching for information for just this purpose. We like to come up with really good cusses. They are there to breed distrust and contention amongst the “bad” team. By our laws, these spies are legally allowed to engage in “bad” acts for the sake of “good.” It may sound complicated, but it’s a lot of fun. No doubt the “bad” guys are doing that to us too! But “good” always prevails so we’re not worried.
Any “Prisoners of War” that we capture we make sure to take real good care of. We’re fundamentally pacifists (only at heart of course). One new program we’ve introduce is prisoner rehabilitation. Once captured, we take back all the cusses we gave them, and then give them nice and encouraging words. We like to show them what it’d be like to be on the ‘good’ team. That’s what we do for each other after all.
Anyway, I could go on and on about the spiritual battle that’s currently taking place right this moment. I’ll spare you the details. I’m just saying, as someone who has never died and entered into a spiritual battle, this sounds like it could happen. I had a dream about it once and I’m convinced it was a premonition of what’s to come. I can’t wait and I’m so excited!!!
I will be all too happy to enlighten anyone about what is happening on the spiritual front and how it is currently effecting humanity. AMA. But be forewarned, if you AMA me something I don’t like, I will politely ask you to leave this thread, and baring that, I will personally leave, thereby depriving all of you of my presence and insight about the spiritual warfare that is currently occurring right now and effecting all of you (I am a pacifist after all. I WILL not resort to anything more than cussing at most).
P.S. Yes we did try having sex instead of fighting. No we can’t get pregnant. The trouble is that both male, female, trans, and non-binary celestial bodies have long refractory periods. There was too much downtime.