Scout: I’ve been applying the method pretty diligently these past few weeks.
My previous focus had been on just giving attention to every moment regardless of what was coming up. But no emphasis on appreciation. this resulted in me feeling like coming to the present moment was a painful experience a lot of the time, and avoiding it.
Now I emphasize savoring it. Even in the presence of pain, I find aspects of whatever is happening to cherish. It makes the pain much more manageable. And it’s led to me taking better care of myself which has reduced the bodily discomfort I’ve been experiencing.
I get hit by waves of emotion. I don’t try to wrestle them down but I don’t indulge the narratives either; the root cause often reveals itself once the feelings subside. Pretty interesting. While riding the wave of somatically experiencing the emotion I enjoy my breath, and study what the feeling actually is. I’m starting to see the addictive cycle for myself.
I also see fear. Silly irrational fear, like fear that if I become entirely ok with myself and I don’t need other people emotionally at all, then I’ll wind up entirely alone. That it’s my co-dependency that keeps me likable.
Amidst upwellings of fear and sadness and mania, my baseline has become pretty much good. I think I can be ok even if I’m sick. But working on retraining my brain to appreciate whatever’s going on seems like it might actually physically help my illness too.
I will keep applying the method. I feel like I love my life again. I feel so curious to know myself deeper. And grateful that I can return to a grounded appreciation within myself again and again if I keep reminding myself to. (link)
Hi Scout,
This is an excellent report. Now that you had some success for your persistence with the actualism method you have the motivation and curiosity to “know myself deeper”.
This quote from Richard regarding physical pain yet absence of suffering can give you further encouragement to decline when you notice an emotional objection to physical pain –
RESPONDENT: Does not the body suffer? Feel pain?
RICHARD: No, there is no suffering at all. There is physical pain, but no suffering. Physical pain is essential … if it did not exist, one could be sitting on a hot stove and not know that one’s bum was burning until one noticed the smoke rising!
Suffering is psychological … only the entities suffer. Thus they forever seek consolation, commiseration and solace. Hence the neediness for the whole gamut of pity, sympathy, empathy, compassion and love. When one is actually free, none of these products of pathos are necessary … in fact, with the ego and soul’s demise, they cease to exist. They, too, are bogus. (Richard, List B, No. 20, 15 Feb 1998).
Additionally, the more you discover the triggers for stress, “fear and sadness and mania” and learn to decline to go down that path again and again, you are also reducing stress hormones like adrenaline, which can only have a beneficiary effect on your health and well-being.
The more you appreciate your enjoyment of being alive (feeling good) the more both enjoyment and appreciation grow – it is quite magical.
Cheers Vineeto