i apologize Geofrry … i did not read that part i guess …or maybe i read it but i did not acknowledged it …i say this with sincerity …
i am crying now …i am not a child …i am not gonna come to discuss anymore …
Because posts cannot be permanently deleted except by accessing the database, and present or future users with administrator rights can see the content of deleted posts, I deleted the content as well.
I wish I could properly explain what happened … … I came to this thread this morning, I don’t know why , maybe there was a notification or something … I started reading from the bottom to the top …i read the first two sentences of what you wrote in your last post , before I finish your sentence , I went up to see who wrote what… and then I went to the top and read that they said that your video has been suspended . and as I was reading, I said to myself, it’s good that we downloaded geffrey’s video on Google Doc… then I came to goldencloud’s writing which he was asking for your video, and i thought i am helping , and i was so happy about it …
and I did not put that emogi to be cute, I just put it because actual freedom is about laughter and happiness…
after posting your video , I went to the kitchen to make some tea and i did not come back on my computer to finish what you wrote…this was the first time i read somebody’s post ( yours ) incompelete …and i am very sorry …
Now that I remember , I realize that Frank sent me this video link and I had forgotten that this video is private, and i forgot that Frank told me you had sent this video to him privately and even your wrote for me that you didn’t want this video to be public because it might cause misunderstanding…
i don’t know what happened to me to make such a mistake , i just wanted to help and i was not aware of my mistake …
this was the first time i read somebody’s post ( yours ) incomplete …and i am very sorry …i meant your above post…
That sounds like a lot of forgetting 
There is probably something there that might prove quite fruitful for you to investigate 
i cried for several hours today .this was probably one of the worst day of my life…the worst days of my life were those that I cried because of infidelity…and today I remembered the past memories…
it is very unfortunate that even though i have a really good memory and i am even famous for that , but i have forgot such a particular and important thing like this ؛ maybe because it was not me who you send the link to … or maybe i thought Forum is a private thing , small group or something …i never thought about this Forum as a public thing …
i caused myself alot of discomfort today , and maybe for you and Migule too …but i was like an injured tiger all day today …
i dont know what to investigate ? the sadness from that you told me " are you a kid ?" or the embarrassment that i felt Infront of the people here ? or investigate my forgetting …?
i don’t like myself , and i want to get rid of myself ,i even prefer to die physically soon ! i don’t want to keep me !
You could investigate your attitude towards being corrected for sure.
There is nothing, absolutely n.o.t.h.i.n.g “bad/wrong” about being corrected, advised etc.
Self-worth, self-esteem and validation seem to be your prominent themes Leila. It drips throughout your whole post-history. That is the thing to tackle for you. You seem to be aware of it which is good.
Maybe a good start would be to read and re-read Richards correspondence in regards to authority and expertise. You have to come to a point where you see that validation, drama, self-esteem are nothing but a distraction, an excuse to point you back towards your bubble. You have to come to a point where you see that you want it. You want it to escalate. It’s not happening to you at all. You actively want it. Why? Get behind it. Be patient.
It all feels so very important, dramatically important, but… it’s not. It just isn’t. 
Hummmm you could not really have forgotten it so thoroughly. Because you knew you didn’t have permission… you literally said to Geoffrey you were posting it without his permission!
This also is not a one-time theme regarding permission. You told me that you hope I gave you permission to translate something I wrote, because if I didn’t you’d have to do it without my permission anyway. And you translated Felix’s (I think) posts even though he told you not to, and he ended up deleting them so other people wouldn’t do the same!
So this story you are telling yourself of having forgotten, is not what actually happened.
Maybe it’s time to recognize that actions have consequences - that if you do things without people’s permission, those people will sometimes not like that — and making excuses won’t always work to make it better? Maybe instead of that you could be more considerate and not do it in the first place … it’s just a suggestion though.
Also as Elgin alluded to… it’s not the end of the world! Everything will be ok 
. Good themes for you to investigate for sure.
2 Likes
Just to be clear.
I mean the emotions behind it, the personal, inner drama which plays out in the head and heart is rather silly, but appears to move mountains.
The privacy concerns are legit and to be taken seriously, because it could lead to physical/practical discomfort for an actual free person and to physical/practical/emotional discomfort for “unfree” persons.
I would argue that “forgetting” can happen on an unconscious level as I know from own experiance. It can happen when one doesn’t take another opinion/concern serious, in the sense that one doesn’t see the harm in doing so. I think Leila acted somewhat ignorant of the potential consequences, but in “good faith” nevertheless (wanting to help).
2 Likes
Yes you put it well. Must not minimize the fact - as in the practical consequences. But can emotionally accept the fact - even given this happened it’s not worth being upset or sad etc. But that doesn’t mean to just keep doing it. This is why pure intent is needed to replace the moral impetus.
Don’t take it so hard, @leila. As far as I am concerned, you have not caused me any inconvenience. And if you had triggered that, it would be my problem; an opportunity to investigate.
The posts of @Elgin and @claudiu have allowed me to eliminate most of what I had started to write yesterday. I think they contain good advice about what you can do with this episode,
so I will just emphasize two points:
-
Those of us who have a good memory (as you claim to have) tend to forget and “forget” mainly when guided or dominated by emotions (desire, annoyance, anxiety, rush, etc), causing us distraction, disinterest, omissions while living any situation such as listening to someone talking to us, reading, watching a video, etc. As others said, then, you could investigate those emotions.
-
The shame/annoyance/discouragement (bad feelings) that I may feel if I make a mistake, I am contradicted or I am corrected here in the forum, is not essentially different from the pride/pleasure/good spirit (good feelings) that I may feel in the opposite cases. The more so if the trigger in either direction comes from someone actually free (as they felt sometimes before they were free when faced with Richard’s “approvals” or “disapprovals” of their words, for example). Again just another objects of observation that I/you should not repress or exacerbate, and later investigate.
But, of course, now you should aim to feel good which in some circunstances it’s not easy. Apply the method and your previous experiences for that.
dear @Felix except for the one that you had EE or PCE , i did not translate anything from you …and the one i translated it , if i knew you dont like it i would delete it …the way you respond for the one i translated was that you said :
" my words has not been translated by any body (…) "
and from this i thought you said it out of excitement , so i did not delete that … when you said dont do the rest i did not …you can go and see it for your self …in the link below they are two post that are in number 158 to 161 from felix …
Felix you wrote : Felix
2
Hey @leila, wait really??!! That is amazing. My words have never been translated at all let alone into Farsi. You’ll have to share the translated text with me 
By the way have you written kind of intro here about how you came to actualism?
@leila hey, please don’t do that …
. Just read my most recent posts - like the last week at most.like the last week at most. I’ve even thought of deleting my previous diary entries for this reason.
@Felix Ok then .I read your latest .
i just messaged Felix
Dear Flix…
i did not know that your were deleting your previous post because of me , according to cludiu …i told you i am not gonna do that , and i did not translate them ,except for the two of the post your EE and PCE that i told you about it …
no it was not ignorant , i just did not remember that it is something private, even my first imput was that it was on you tube that i first saw it …i even first post the video and then wrote : by your permission Geofrry , and then i change it to " without " your permission …i swear there was no ignorant or anything …i just did not remembered at that time that it was private …i wish there was a video of my intent at that time ,so you all could see that i did not remembered anything …
1 Like
Would you say that, at the time, you lacked the knowledge that the video was intended to be private?
Ignorant can mean: uninformed about a particular subject/not knowing, not understanding something. Hence I said you acted in good faith/wanting to help.
It’s obvious you didn’t intended to harm anybody.
It’s not something which is special to you Leila, all identities do this to some degree. You explained yourself. It’s time to chill down and reflect on it. Nobody is mad at you, though it might seem so to you of course. Remember you’re dealing with actualist, not some hardcore emo-chumps on the internet.
You now understand that privacy concerns are to be respected at all times. Lessons learned, finished.
Now comes the work, the interesting part.
Maybe something to write about it in your journal at some point when it’s pleasant for you
2 Likes
Well I might as well say it. To an outsider this response would appear a bit surprising, especially coming from someone purported to be actually free. It certainly looks like it comes from a place of emotion, but of course I cannot confirm that at all.
Was responding in this way truly helpful? It just seems like intensifying the tone of the message would make the situation worse instead of calming it, and it seems like the latter is more preferable.
Is that what you are referring to? I didn’t read any particular emotion other than my own projections. Geoffrey just seemed to be asking an adult why there were acting like a child. Of course, when seeing this in person it is always accompanied by a power dynamic and/or a deep feeling of fear that other is going to hurt themselves or them. But it doesn’t have to be the case.
Ftr, I actually thought Geoffrey’s:
Doesn’t seem super clear to me. If one were to focus on the latter
with whoever you think could benefit from it
Then one could easily miss the
privately
Most adults rush to act. It is childish but it’s 100% par for the course too. If you want your concerns to be respected then it’s up to you be excessively clear, especially, when you are saying two separate things that often are odds with each other. In this case privately and share with whoever….
3 Likes
Okay I see, yeah I definitely got a whiff of the power dynamic thing, but that could just be me. I think I possibly saw some room for relaying the message in such a way that optimizes for the emotional comfort of the other person. For example:
Please do not post this video publicly, such as on this forum. I am not allowing that. I have deleted your comment.
. . . after having deleted the comment. (I’m just guessing as to what happened, since I wasn’t here.)
But yeah, maybe that won’t actually work, since it’s not forceful and unambiguous enough to deter someone from making the same mistake again.
Haha I knew this would come up. 
Indeed.
If that were what I’m optimizing for (emotional comfort), then indeed, you’d be right.
I think it was (helpful), for it made the situation clearer. For Leila’s own benefit. She might not have seen it at the time, and you might not have either. I’m still confident it had to be done.
My purpose here is, to the extent that I can, to help people achieve actual freedom. This takes many forms as people (identities) come in many forms, and find themselves hold up at many stages, with many obstacles.
You might have noticed I’m pretty laid back usually, not intervening much, content to watch people figuring stuff out for themselves. I sometimes intervene when it appears that a nudge, a hint, an allusion, might be enough to help people see something, or go over some hurdle. They’re free to do whatever they want with it, it’s not like it’s my responsibility what people do with their lives. And I certainly don’t picture myself a guru, a teacher, a guide or whatever.
When I see someone stuck in a particular problematic situation (as regards one’s progress towards actual freedom), not showing sufficient or impending clarity about it that would let one think that they’re about to go over it, my intervention (if it happens) may be less subtle. It may be as plain as it needs to be.
Actually this has changed somewhat, for I would indeed have let these states of affairs slide, one or two years ago. And I did. Allowing people to linger in the comfort of their ignorance about their own stuff. Allowing them to turn around on themselves for years, blocked in their progress. Which I saw as respecting people’s freedom, but now see as kinda giving-up on people. So you might say that my (actual) caring has increased… even if it might look like the opposite from a feeling-caring point of view .
2 Likes