The other thing I have noticed just now is that from this vantage point of no longer being at conflict with myself, of feeling likeable and liking. Investigation is more like a fun escapade into an unknown area. I just found myself drawn to investigate attraction/aversion and beauty as I noticed something within myself which I have not explored previously and it was actually really fun to do this, fun to see how I tick without being at war with myself. It seemed completely different, drawn by curiosity as opposed to desperation.