Let’s see what happens. Wishing you all the safest of travels along the safest path in existence. 
PS. I did finally manage to put words on one thing I noticed happening after Richard had passed and Vineeto posted her response; a deep appreciation for her. Not reverence, not putting her on a pedestal (as I was sometimes prone to do with especially Richard, but also other actually free persons before), but something else. An appreciation of her having “taken over the torch”, so to speak. It’s like a deep (base-of-being deep), solid call to action and compulsion at the same time, but without any instinctual or emotional tinge to it.
Normally I would not write this down (as it seems slightly insane) but it’s been buzzing at the back of my mind for quite some time now and hasn’t simmered down one iota.
Constantly keeping tabs on myself to make sure I don’t get pulled into the same emotional dead ends that have happened with me before, but this genuinely seems like the real thing.