Hehehe yes I have had this realization on occasion, that there’s actually apparently nothing I can do to turn back! The immediate reaction is a mounting alarm, at which point I realize that this is what I actually wanted, and instead I’m left in wonderment.
Yea this is a vital topic, and perhaps the following report will speak to @jamesjjoo’s query:
Increasingly I find myself being remarkably puzzled at people’s reactions. I will say something that is completely sincere, straightforward, harmless, curious even – and I can feel via vibes or psychic currents that something in ‘them’ reacted, they are now defensive, even in one case became remarkably aggressive and offensive. And instead of getting retributively defensive which was the norm before, now my reaction is more – what on odd reaction! Why would they react this way? It doesn’t make any sense.
Thinking about it now, of course it is obvious why – they are in the pit of the human condition, this is completely ‘normal’. But actually it makes no sense at all. This speaks to what you are saying here @Kub933 about not being able to relate to others (but we can still pay lip service!!)
In a remarkable sense it’s that anytime anybody gets upset about anything, it is essentially all imaginary, none of this is ‘real’. Of course they feel upset, but… the whole ‘construct’ of ‘being upset’ doesn’t actually exist. It’s like suddenly someone gets possessed by some other-worldly ‘force’ that they allow to happen and drive them to do this silly thing. From the point of view of the actual world, that is exactly what is happening, that “other-worldly ‘force’” is nothing other than the human condition in action. From the point of view of the real world, of course it is actuality which seems “other-worldly” and these feelings are all justified.
The remarkably freeing thing is seeing that I don’t have to participate, at all! I have an experiential report that maybe some can relate to and it can help them to see what I mean.
On many an occasion in the past, I would be having a relatively vivid dream, and some truly horrible circumstance would be happening in the dream. Just something actually awful. And I would be worried, upset, trying to solve the problem, etc. Yet at some point I semi-recognize that I’m dreaming, and I was able to take this stance along the lines of “this can all just go away and it doesn’t matter” – at which point that upset completely vanished as I realized it was just a dream (sometimes this would happen soon after waking rather than in the dream). In essence it was a full ‘reset’.
What I find now is that – I am doing this in normal, waking life! It is really very simple. I’m just able to see that I can do such a ‘reset’ (i.e. get back to feeling good), and it happens! It’s like I’m able to easily and rapidly completely wipe the slate clean. And… nothing bad happens as a result of this! No fact of the situation changes, and I function even better in life, the actual problems still get addressed (it’s not a burying head in the sand)… it’s just this total emotional wiping of the slate to be virtually pure and pristine instead.
And it strikes me that that’s exactly what the actualism method is! And in terms of leaving humanity, it is in a sense coming to grips with the fact that I can just do this and I can “get away” with it! This is why the actual world is ever-fresh, pure, and pristine… nothing ‘dirty’ ever gets in because all this that we feel as ‘dirty’ has as much existence as the dream, i.e. none at all actually. The ‘real world’ is like a dream super-imposed onto actuality that we take to be serious, but it isn’t, not at all. There is nothing about it that is actual, tangible, factual, and nothing about it that needs to be preserved. Everything functions much better without it!
That’s all for now 
Cheers,
Claudiu