This real/psychological time is something that has been coming up for me the past couple of days. Yesterday when I was driving back from training I found myself enjoying and appreciating, there was that quality which Claudiu mentioned here - The Basis for Happiness - #47 by claudiu :
The key is that the startling clarity and simplicity of being alive, unencumbered / unburdened / unhindered by a ‘self’/‘Self’/ego/soul, is intrinsically enjoyable and there is nothing to actually be done besides enjoy and appreciate it.
But something started to get in the way, to take me away from this simple enjoyment and appreciation at being here. I noticed that it was specifically this sense of real world/psychological time. It was also what Richard mentions in one of the audio taped dialogues, that time began to have periodicity again.
So I found myself in the present slice of real time, sandwiched between the past and the future, what I noticed immediately was that when I was enjoying and appreciating, time did not have periodicity like this, I was simply here, enjoying what is happening now.
The other thing which immediately stood out was that this real time is merely a story, it is not genuine. Real time is a story weaved from many different truths, it is the timeline that ‘I’ as identity exist in and ‘I’ am not genuine either.
I also noticed that only when time does not have periodicity can I have actual intimacy, only by being here now can I experience the magic of actually being alive. That is because as long as I remain in real/psychological time I am not being genuine. This real/psychological time is quite seductive/compelling because there exist all the hopes, dreams, fears, anxieties etc that ‘I’ am so used to, this is ‘my’ story after-all.
It seems the next step is to proceed into that place where none of those ‘human’ values and meanings hold anymore, where the ‘story’ is no longer distracting from the main event which is actually being alive.