Something fun came up this morning, it was reading @Srinath’s post about mimetic desire a while ago which set this seeing in motion - Road block - #18 by Srinath
Since reading that post I have observed how ‘my’ reality is this constantly shifting construct, what’s more interesting though is that this construct is constantly adjusted/arises out of the responses that I get from others and more specifically the responses I feel from others.
This is quite big because really it shows the utter fallibility of this construct - as in it has no chance whatsoever of reflecting that which is actually the case. It is funny though how such a fallible construct, such an incorrect assessment of what is actually the case is felt to be intuitively true beyond doubt, as in when ‘I’ feel passionately about something.
Really what I am saying is that a feeling is not a fact but it was seeing the intricacies of why this is the case which really hit me this morning.
It happened because I was doing some training with one of my students yesterday and during our sparring I felt some kind of a angry/irritated/pissed off vibe from him (at least this is what I thought I detected). Then I woke up this morning and I was somehow feeling like I did something wrong, like there is something wrong with me, that I have something to apologise for, that I am not good enough, that I have some atonement to do - essentially I created an entire self-centred story surrounding this thing which I felt. This story I believed to be a true reflection of what happened - “he must have been pissed off with me because I was going too hard on him and really he thinks I am a lousy coach” etc.
This entire construct was my reality - I really truly believed that this was what was happening and I was already planning different ways in which I was going to approach these problems.
Then this thought occurred - what if that which I ‘detected’ as him being angry at me was actually him being frustrated with himself for the myriad of reasons possible?
Of course I don’t know but putting this possibility in front of myself made the whole thing fall apart as if it was made from sand, I saw that entire construct I created (and was so heavily invested in) was based on something so fallible, something that is not even as reliable as a guess, because a guess can at least be intelligent 
This is pure affectively fed speculation.
Then I could see what the affective faculty does to the intellect. I saw that genuine certainty and confidence comes from that which is ascertained sensately, from the actual. Whereas that which comes from the ‘inside’ is illusion and delusion. It cannot be relied on at all, and yet it is felt to be fundamentally true.
It was quite a freeing seeing because it showed that the sorrowful story of ‘my’ life is not even close to being the case it’s actually quite impressive that ‘I’ can sell such an incorrect assessment to ‘myself’ and then believe it to be true.
And this is the story of being ‘human’, going around feeling that truly life is this and that way, that it is fundamentally wrong. And having all the best reasons why it is the case, they seem so true!
And actually it is all so wrong, so incorrect that it’s staggering to contemplate and so freeing to see!