Kub933's Journal

[Kub933]

Hi Vineeto,

@Vineeto

I suspect (and I could be wrong) there is a stumbling block that you seem to have never taken squarely into account – that there is just no way that the actual world is “adjacent” [“adjoining, neighbouring (on), next door to, close to, close by, bordering (on), beside and alongside”] to ‘me’, the imaginary but very passionate alien entity inside your flesh-and-blood body. Therefore there is simply no way that ‘I’/ ‘me’ can devise a strategy (“skilfully manoeuvring”) to enter the actual world whilst remaining ‘me’.

@Vineeto

When you understand this basic fact, at the deepest core of you ‘being’, that the actual world, and therefore pure intent and all the wonderful experiences you had of the “mirificent flavour of pure intent”, is outside of ‘your’ domain then you won’t continue to fool yourself and end up “in a similar if not the same place to where I was when you began writing on the forum”.

Whilst I consider the rest of your reply I do have a question. If the “mirificent flavour of pure intent” is outside of ‘my’ domain altogether then how is it that ‘I’ can experience it whilst naively enjoying and appreciating, is it that when the actual flavour is tasted ‘I’ am temporarily in abeyance? Because that flavour is nothing like in the real world, it is actual. Is it that when ‘I’ am being naive the possibility of briefly going into abeyance is as if always imminent and it can appear as if ‘I’ am the one experiencing actuality?
I experience being naive as a state of near-PCE, as if I am flickering between 2 worlds. But I guess what I am getting at, is it that when that flicker does happen and for that brief and delicious micro second there is the “mirificent (and actual) flavour of pure intent” am ‘I’ then also in abeyance? In a PCE it is clear that ‘I’ am in abeyance but when in the state of near-PCE it is this constant flickering that makes it difficult to pinpoint if it was ‘me’ that tasted the actual or if ‘I’ was in abeyance.

I think this might be the unexamined misunderstanding which you are pointing to, that ‘I’ believe it was ‘me’ who tasted the actual and that ‘I’ can then re-arrange ‘myself’ to taste it again - which does not work.

I think the crux of what I am getting at is - Is apperception only possible when ‘I’ am in abeyance, no matter how briefly? And ‘I’ only have a memory of the flavour, yet ‘I’ never taste it ‘myself’? In fact ‘I’ have never tasted the “mirificent flavour of pure intent” at all.

This does appear to be so, that moment when apperceptiveness is taking place it is not ‘me’ tasting the actual, there is the experience of actuality itself, when ‘I’ shortly return ‘I’ have a recent memory that the actual world exists. In the near-PCE state of naivete this happens at a frequent rate, the actual world seems to be not far at all and yet for ‘me’ it is actually inaccessible, as it always is.
However via ‘being’ naivete ‘I’ am inviting apperceptiveness to happen over and over, and each time ‘I’ am bleeping out for the duration of the apperceptive seeing, even if it is just a flash, and another flash etc

This last paragraph explains quite well how it plays out experientially for me.