Hi Vineeto,
Thank you for your reply and it is very nice to hear from you 
, I’m amazed how you are able to get right to the crux of what is going on for me. I guess that is an example of the actual intimacy which is being discussed, I remember how Srinath wrote (shortly after becoming actually free) about an exquisite attunement to others. And it seems that you are able to see me in a clearer light than I can see myself.
In the text below you highlighted this particular - “observing the social protocols” :
I am not sure why you highlighted this bit in particular but it is actually very relevant to me and how it relates to something which could be classed as an acutely empathic caring. I certainly would not describe myself as naturally empathic, actually my natural disposition would be something like intellectual-distanced.
In fact I would say that there is still something like a distaste for those social protocols as well as the general ways in which feeling beings operate. Of course this is where the dissociation comes in because I am a feeling being. Experiencing myself as if on the outside and “looking at all those feeling beings / social identities” with distaste can only be dissociation.
It’s almost like that archetypal mr spock character or sheldon from big bang theory (although I am not very intelligent in the analytic sense) who look at emotions and those who experience them with distaste whilst forgetting that underneath their prideful intellect is also a passionate entity.
And so I am not sure if I yet see the full extent of what you are pointing to however I can see that this distaste as well as the distancing/dissociation is preventing all of me from being on board and thus allowing a near actual caring to make visible this “door as wide as the universe”.
Of course if I genuinely like my fellow human beings then this would automatically take into consideration the fact that there is only 1 way into the world. Which means that those fellow human beings are programmed with the instinctual passions and furthermore they are programmed with a social identity (the social protocols etc) which is there to keep those passions in check.
But of course something is not quite there, because why the distaste and the distancing. Perhaps it is correct to say that I am slightly different in the sense of never having been able to emotionally bond like others do - it seems this distaste and the distancing is related to this. In fact I can very clearly experientially sense out this distance, it is exactly that - this cold and detached space which exists in the psyche and it is placed between me and others.
So yes I think plenty of hints here, this cold and detached space it has to disappear so that all of me can be on board. And of course I can see the immediate benefit also, of being able to thoroughly enjoy and appreciate living amongst others.